chelle

Stargate SG-1

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Stumbling Home

chelle

Title: Stumbling Home

Author: chelle

Author's email: chelle@chelle.slashcity.org

Author's URL: http://chelle.slashcity.org/

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Category: Slash

Archive: Ask first

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Set immediately after 7.02 "Homecoming."

Beta: Thank you to The Grrrl for the criticism. Any remaining errors are, of course, my own.

Daniel ran his hands over the top of the piano, his piano. Aware that Jack had returned from seeing Sam and Teal'c out, he looked up.

Jack leaned against the wall. "Carter and Teal'c say good-night."

Daniel nodded. They'd just had their first team night since his return. It had been shockingly close to old times. Jack still played the buffoon to Teal'c's straight man, and Daniel still brought out his friend's inner nine-year-old. Sam still watched them all with an amused grin. It had been a good night. "I can't believe you kept it."

"I had the room. Besides, you left it to me."

Daniel blinked in surprise. His will. They had executed his will.

"We didn't actually carry it out," Jack said, apparently having lost none of his ability to read Daniel's mind. "As executor I read it over, but Hammond and I decided to declare you missing instead of dead. Because you weren't really. I mean, you were gone, but you weren't… Plus, do you have any idea how much paperwork your resurrections cause?"

Daniel may not have had all of his memories, but he was still fairly confident that he could still translate Jackspeak. Jack hadn't been willing to declare him dead, despite the fact that he'd been non-corporeal at the time.

"We didn't have a memorial service this time." Jack slipped his hands into his pockets and looked at the floor. "It was hard on Carter. She was grieving and Teal'c was being Teal'c and I was…" Jack's voice trailed off.

"Angry."

"Yeah." Jack pushed away from the wall and went to stand at the window, hands still in his pockets.

Daniel thought back to their conversation in the locker room and Jack's remark about Daniel not following his lead. He'd blamed the frequent miscommunication and tension of the last couple of years before his ascension on Jack, but maybe he'd played a bigger part in their disagreements than he'd been willing to admit. It takes two, after all. Rising, he went to stand beside his friend. Copying Jack, he slid his hands into his pockets and looked up at the night sky. "I know we didn't always see things the same way, but I always respected you. Always."

Jack glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "Really?"

Daniel couldn't help but smile at the hopeful note in Jack's voice. "Yes, really."

Jack smiled, the rare, happy smile. "Sweet."

Daniel had to smile back.

"You know…me, too."

Daniel's smile broadened. He'd missed the way they could have entire conversations without either of them managing a complete sentence. "Yeah, but you admire me."

"A little."

"A little," Daniel conceded.

"So you remember everything now?"

"It's hard to say. How do I know if I don't know, you know?"

Jack nodded.

"I keep wondering if I'm missing something important."

"You visited me while you were gone."

"I did?" Daniel remembered nothing of his time as a big glowy thing, as Jack called it.

"I threw a shoe at you."

"Figures."

They shared a grin before simultaneously turning to look up at the night sky.

"There is one thing that's different," Daniel ventured, after identifying the two constellations he knew.

"What's that?"

"Used to be when a guy came back from the dead he got a hug."

"Carter tried. You refused."

"You didn't try."

Turning slightly, Jack opened his arms and Daniel didn't hesitate to step forward. Jack's arms closed around his shoulders. Daniel wrapped his own arms around Jack's waist and whispered the words he hadn't yet been able to say, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Jack's breath was warm on his skin.

"Hurting you."

Jack tightened his hold in answer, burying his face in Daniel's neck. "I missed you." The whispered words were barely audible.

Daniel wanted to answer in kind, to say he'd missed Jack. Even without his memories of the past year he knew he'd missed Jack, but he didn't think he could explain how he knew, so he settled for the same response Jack had given him—he tightened his hold.

Eventually they had to let go, had to draw back. Daniel was reluctant. The hug was comfortable and he wasn't certain its aftermath would be. Finally, he started to pull back. Jack's hands came up to cup his face, just as they had all of those years ago in the gate room. "You called me a monkey," Daniel said, the memory making him smile.

Jack grinned but didn't let go. "I called you a spacemonkey."

"Same difference."

"No, a spacemonkey has been into space." Jack patted Daniel's cheek for emphasis before letting go.

Daniel immediately missed his touch, but instead of reaching out he nodded as though being called a spacemonkey made perfect sense.

"You know, I never understood why you had a piano when you can't play."

Turning, Daniel followed Jack's gaze to the instrument in question. "I can play," he said, moving past Jack to sit at the bench. He stretched his arms and wiggled his fingers before pressing two keys simultaneously. Lifting his fingers, he pressed them again.

Jack reached down and pressed two keys, matching Daniel's rhythm. Daniel slid over on the bench, making room for Jack to sit beside him. They shared a grin, before beginning to play in earnest.

Two minutes later the song was over. They removed their hands from the keyboard at the same time. "I'm not sure chopsticks counts," Jack said, but the corners of his mouth were turned up in an amused smile.

"It's a song."

Jack turned toward him, his mouth opened to give a reply. Their eyes met and Daniel sucked in a breath. It had been a long time since Jack had looked at him like that, with open, unguarded affection. The moment stretched between them, much as the hug had. Daniel told himself to look away, but instead of obeying, he leaned closer. Jack didn't move, just kept his eyes on Daniel's. Not quite willing to admit to himself what he was about to do, Daniel pressed his lips to Jack's.

The kiss was brief, but it was still enough to turn his world inside out. Tenderness and caring and Jack, it wasn't a combination Daniel had ever expected.

The second kiss was longer and it added desire to the mix.

The third had Daniel nearly out of his mind.

Inhaling shakily, Daniel drew back. "We…what…"

Jack pressed his palm to the side of Daniel's neck and stroked Daniel's cheek with his thumb, and Daniel fell silent. Needing an answer, he searched Jack's face. Jack looked open, vulnerable in a way Daniel wasn't used to seeing; he was watching his own thumb as he stroked Daniel's cheek. Jack was touching him like a lover, and when he used the hand on Daniel's neck to draw him forward, Daniel went willingly.

Jack's kisses were gentle, but assured. Daniel couldn't have resisted them if he'd wanted to. He didn't want to. Slipping an arm around Daniel's waist Jack drew him as close as the bench allowed. Daniel rested one hand on Jack's leg and the other on Jack's shoulder.

Their kisses were getting wetter, wilder, less gentle.

"Spacemonkey," Jack whispered, his voice rough.

Surprised, Daniel laughed.

Jack chuckled softly, once again stroking Daniel's face when their shared laughter subsided.

Daniel wanted to just enjoy the moment—Jack's touch, his warmth—but the part of Daniel's brain that needed things to make sense wanted to know what the hell was going on. "Jack, what are—"

Jack cut him off with a shake of his head and a brief press of his fingers to Daniel's lips. "Act now, think later."

Daniel smiled. "Isn't that what you always advise?"

"Only when appropriate," Jack answered with a grin.

"And it's appropriate now?"

"Very."

"So I shouldn't think? I should just…" Daniel kept his voice was low and suggestive as he slid his hand up Jack's leg. "Do?"

"Yup."

"Will you," Daniel paused, "do, too?"

"Yup."

"Well in that case…" Cupping Jack's erection, Daniel gave it a quick squeeze.

Startled, Jack jumped slightly, but he recovered quickly, covering Daniel's hand with is own and pressing it more firmly against his cock.

Daniel looked down at his hand and swallowed. He was touching Jack's cock, through layers of clothing, but, still, Jack's cock. He looked up and his eyes locked with Jack's. "Jack."

"I know," Jack answered quietly, before pressing his lips to Daniel's.

Daniel's nervousness didn't disappear. It was still there, buried beneath a wave of desire that had his lips clinging to Jack's. The kiss ended and Jack started to draw back, but Daniel followed him, initiating another kiss. Lifting his hand from Jack's cock, he cupped the back of Jack's head. With Jack held firmly in place, Daniel gave in to the lust filling him, kissing Jack with everything he had. And Jack, Jack surrendered.

Need overwhelming him, Daniel dropped his head to Jack's shoulder. Gently stroking the nape of his neck, Jack asked softly, "Okay?" Lifting his head, Daniel attempted a smile. "Yeah. I…I want…"

Jack nodded. "Yeah."

And wasn't that the best part of talking to Jack? The fact that so little talking was actually involved. Less talking meant more of everything else, more of what they were doing and what they could do, but not on Daniel's piano bench. Standing, Daniel held out his hand. To his relief, Jack took it. They started toward the stairs, Daniel leading.

They were almost there when Jack asked, "Shouldn't I be leading?"

Daniel turned around slowly before answering, "You know how much I love to follow your lead."

"Flirt." Jack said, starting to step past him.

Daniel ducked his head and looked up at Jack from beneath lowered lashes. "I try."

Jack laughed and took hold of Daniel's shoulders, pushing him up against the wall. "I can't believe you could date that many beautiful women and not learn how to flirt."

"I'm up against a wall and you're about to kiss me. Looks like it worked to me."

"Who says I'm going to kiss you?"

Looking into Jack's eyes, Daniel licked quickly at his lower lip and tilted his head to the side, his lips parted just slightly. Jack leaned in and they were kissing.

This kiss was nothing like the ones they had already shared. The need in those kisses had built slowly, a sweet, aching longing. This need was urgent, an emptiness that had to be filled.

Jack tugged at Daniel's shirt, finally freeing it enough so that he could touch bare skin. Daniel arched forward and Jack pushed his leg between Daniel's thighs.

Daniel moaned.

Jack buried his face in Daniel's neck, his words almost inaudible. "You left. You left and I thought I'd never have this, never get to hold you."

"So hold me," Daniel whispered.

Jack took a half step back, letting Daniel get far enough away from the wall so he could wrap his arms around Daniel's waist.

Jack had held him by the window a few minutes—a half hour, an hour, a lifetime—ago. But this was different. Daniel wasn't quite sure how. Something inside of Jack had given way, or maybe it was something in Daniel. He didn't know. He just knew that he needed to hold on, and bury his face in Jack's neck, and breathe in the familiar scent. If only he'd been allowed to smell Jack, his memories probably would have come back a lot sooner. Because Jack, Jack didn't smell like a Jim.

Shifting slightly, Daniel brushed his mouth along the side of Jack's neck. Jack inhaled sharply, and Daniel pressed his mouth to Jack's skin, fully and deliberately. He followed this kiss with another, and another. Jack's taste shouldn't have been familiar, but it was. Daniel couldn't get enough of it. He pulled bits of Jack's skin into his mouth tasting and sucking. Jack tilted his head, offering Daniel more skin to taste, and pressed his hips into Daniel's. Daniel pressed back.

"Daniel." Jack's voice was shaky. Jack's voice had never been shaky, not in Daniel's hearing.

"I know it's kind of obvious," Daniel murmured to Jack's neck, "but I want you."

"I'd never have guessed." Jack's voice was deep with emotion, and he tightened his hold on Daniel as he spoke.

"You always were a little slow."

"Slow can be good," Jack said softly. "Slow can be very good."

Daniel drew back enough so that he could see Jack's face. "Show me."

Jack kissed him slow and sweet, sending an ache of pure longing through Daniel.

Releasing him, Jack turned and started up the stairs, leaving Daniel staring after him. Three steps up, he looked back. "Coming?"

Biting back the obvious response, Daniel started up the stairs.

Jack entered the bedroom just ahead of Daniel and stopped at the foot of his bed. Daniel moved to stand next to him. He looked at the bed, which was large enough for both of them, and then at Jack. He sucked in a breath. This was it. "So have you ever…" He let his voice trail off, certain Jack would know what he was talking about.

"No."

Jack hadn't…Not that Daniel had thought he had, but…

"Have you?"

Jack's question interrupted his attempts to figure out what it meant that Jack had never, yet they were about to. Daniel shook his head.

Jack nodded and they resumed looking at the bed.

"We should…"

"Yeah."

Daniel inhaled again. "So."

"We covered that."

"Right."

"Kissing," Jack said.

Daniel frowned. "What?"

"Kissing. We, you know, did pretty well with it."

"Yeah, we did."

"So kiss me, you fool."

Daniel shifted so that he was facing Jack and began to lean closer. His lips were almost to Jack's when he began to laugh.

"Daniel?"

"Sorry, I…" He leaned forward again. This time it was Jack who began laughing.

"Jack."

"Sorry."

They began moving toward one another, drawing slowly closer. Their lips were almost touching when laughter bubbled out of them both.

Spinning, Daniel dropped onto the bed on his back. Jack followed him and they were laying side by side looking up that ceiling. "Nerves," Daniel said, turning his head to look at Jack.

"Gotta be," Jack answered, turning his head to the side and looking at Daniel.

They resumed gazing at the ceiling. The silence seemed to fill the space between them, and Daniel's mind spun in a dozen different directions, none of which seemed to involve him, Jack, and the bed. Except they were on the bed, and he was still hard, really hard.

Jack's hand brushed against the back of his and Daniel turned his head to find Jack looking at him. "We don't…" Jack said.

"I know."

"Unless you—"

"I do," Daniel said.

"Me, too."

"So kiss me, you fool."

Jack rolled onto his side and lifted himself up onto on arm. Daniel gazed up at him. Jack touched the side of Daniel's face with his fingertips, stroking lightly. Another lover's touch, it made that something in Daniel which had given way give just a little bit more. Daniel swallowed, or tried to. "Did you mean what you said," he hesitated, "about wanting to, but thinking you'd never?"

"Yeah, I did."

A sentence, Jack had answered him with a sentence. A sentence that meant that Jack had wanted to hold him. It was easier than it should have been to wrap his mind around that concept. Jack wanted to hold him, and Daniel wanted to be held, to hold back, and other things that should have been hard to imagine, but weren't.

"I missed you. While I was…" Daniel pointed at the ceiling. "I missed you."

Jack didn't ask how Daniel knew that. He just smiled and said, "I'm going to kiss you now."

"Okay."

"And then I'm going to touch you, so if you don't—"

Taking hold of Jack's face, Daniel pulled him down and into a kiss. One kiss followed another and when Jack began stroking his chest through his shirt, Daniel arched into the touch. Jack pushed his shirt up, exposing Daniel's skin to his touch. Jack's hands were calloused and his touch was firm. It felt good, really, really good.

Jack tugged at his shirt. "Take this off."

Daniel smiled up at him. "I will if you will."

Jack pulled his shirt up and off. Daniel sat up enough to do the same. Lying back down, he reached out and ran a hand through the hair on Jack's chest. It was softer than it looked, the dark brown dotted with bits of grey. Daniel suspected that he wasn't supposed to find that attractive, but he did.

Daniel sucked in a breath when Jack's fingers brushed his nipple. A smile lit Jack's face before he bent down and took Daniel's nipple into his mouth. He sucked gently, easing up on the suction long enough to brush his tongue over Daniel's nipple. Daniel gasped. Jack continued alternating suction with caresses until Daniel buried his hands in Jack's hair and drew Jack away from his chest and into a kiss.

Hungry, hungry kisses and Daniel needed more, needed to be closer. Rolling Jack onto his back, Daniel settled on top of him. Bare skin against bare skin, and Jack's erection pushing against his. Even with layers of clothing between them, the feel of it made Daniel's head spin. Jack stroked his back, grounding him, and Daniel continued kissing. He couldn't stop. He needed this, needed Jack in ways he'd never imagined.

So many sensations blending together until Daniel was nothing but pleasure and need and he wondered if sex had always felt like this and he'd forgotten, or if it was his newly regenerated nerves, or maybe it was simply Jack. Not that it mattered. He was pushing his hips into Jack and Jack was pushing back, the rhythm as effortless as breathing.

Jack broke away from Daniel's kiss, turning his head when Daniel tried to recapture his lips. "Stop."

The word made no sense so Daniel ignored it, busying himself with the side of Jack's neck.

"Daniel, please."

Daniel liked the sound of that, his name, the word please, both said with an edge of desperation.

"Stop."

This time the word sunk in. Daniel lifted himself onto his arms and gazed at the man beneath him.

"Pants."

Pants. Daniel blinked. Pants. He looked between them at the pants they were both still wearing. If they took them off, they'd be naked and Jack's cock would be out there where he could see it and touch it. And Jack would be able to touch his. Groaning, Daniel dropped his forehead to Jack's chest.

Jack stroked his hair. Daniel was pretty sure the touch was meant to be comforting. It wasn't.

"Daniel?" Jack asked softly.

Daniel lifted his head. "Pants."

Jack smiled. "Pants."

Sliding away from Jack, Daniel stood at the foot of the bed. Aware of Jack's steady gaze, he opened the button on his pants. But Jack's hand reached Daniel's zipper first. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he carefully opened Daniel's pants. They pushed them down together, leaving Daniel with a hard on poking out of his standard issue Air Force boxers.

Jack touched the head with his fingertips and Daniel forgot to breathe. Jack looked up at him and their eyes locked. Daniel couldn't do anything but stare. Jack was looking at him with desire. It shouldn't have been a surprise, since they were half-naked in Jack's bedroom, but it was.

Jack looked away first, looking back at Daniel's cock and his own fingers, which were still touching Daniel. Taking hold of Daniel's boxers, he pushed them to the floor. Daniel stepped out of them.

He was naked in Jack's bedroom and Jack was looking at him. Jack touched Daniel's stomach. Slowly, he lowered his hand, coming close to, but not touching, Daniel's cock. "You're beautiful," Jack murmured. He didn't look up as he said it.

Daniel had no idea what to say to that. He settled for, "You're overdressed."

Jack stood and Daniel reached for the fastenings on his pants. It took only a moment to open the button and lower Jack's zipper. He could feel Jack's heat. He pushed at Jack's pants and briefs, thinking it would be easier to remove them both at once. Jack helped and then they were both naked, naked and standing next to Jack's bed.

Daniel wanted to look. Jack had looked, which meant Daniel could look, should look. He looked. Jack's cock was, well, a lot like his own. Without thinking he reached out and took it in his hand.

"Daniel," Jack breathed.

They were both staring at Jack's cock and Daniel's hand. Daniel stroked experimentally, down then up. Liking the feel of having Jack in his hand, he kept stroking until Jack wrapped his hand around Daniel's wrist.

"Lay down."

Letting go of Jack's cock, Daniel returned to the bed, settling into the middle.

Jack looked at him for a long moment before climbing onto the bed between Daniel's legs. Taking Daniel's cock in his hand, he stroked slowly, down then up, down…

Daniel groaned. Jack leaned down to kiss him and Daniel tugged at him until Jack was lying on top of him. He wanted to feel all of Jack, to have Jack's weight pressing him into the mattress.

Jack's hand was trapped between them and Jack shifted slightly, freeing it.

Daniel wrapped his arms and legs around Jack and lifted his hips. Jack moaned. "Like this," Daniel whispered, "Please."

Jack's answer was a kiss, accompanied by the thrust of his hips.

Jack buried his face in Daniel's neck and they began to move together, easily finding a rhythm, pleasure increasing with each push of their hips.

Jack went still in Daniel's arms. He was coming. Daniel could feel it, could feel Jack's fluid on his skin, could feel Jack tremble. The shock of it, the reality of it, of Jack trembling and spurting and moaning was enough to push Daniel over the edge.

They shuddered together, holding on long after the tremors had subsided. It was Jack who moved first, sliding down until he could lay his head on Daniel's chest. "That was amazing," he said quietly.

Daniel considered the definition of amazing, effecting with wonder or great surprise. "Yeah, it was," he agreed, toying with the short hair just above Jack's nape. As good as he felt, there was still something he needed. "What do we do now?" he asked. Jack had said they could talk later.

"Learn to like closets."

It couldn't be that easy, Daniel thought. There should be drama. Two formerly straight men, teammates, one of them military, one of them recently resurrected. Plenty of angst material there. He took a deep breath and prepared to answer.

"Okay."