chelle

Stargate SG-1

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Definitions

chelle

Title: Definitions

Author: chelle

Author's email: chelle@chelle.slashcity.org

Author's URL: http://chelle.slashcity.org/

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Category: Slash

Archive: Ask first

Pairing: Sam/Vala

Rating: R

Notes: This is a prequel to d's Rise and Fall. It can be read and understood on its own, but I think it's a better story if you read that one first.
I owe d a debt of gratitude for reading this over, assuring me it didn't suck, letting me play in the universe of "Rise and Fall," and inspiring me in the first place. The title is taken from the same quote as "Rise and Fall."

Vala has to leave.

It's the only way they'll survive, either of them. SG-1 split months ago, Teal'c going off on his own, Cameron and Daniel in one direction, Sam and Vala in another. No one knew where the others were going. It was safer that way.

But it's still not as safe as it could be.

Sam could grow her hair, dye it, put on a dress, blend in with the natives, but she won't, not while Vala's here. Vala has no idea why, maybe it's out of pride, or some misguided urge to protect. All Vala knows is that as long as she's here, Sam will cling to SG-1, to what little remains of who and what she was. The only way Vala can keep her alive is to take that from her.

Even now she's moving around the abandoned hut they're squatting in like it's her lab, though all she's doing is dishing up stew. Sam places a bowl in front of her and Vala picks up her spoon. The meat is a small mammal they managed to trap two days ago. This is the last of it.

She catches a bit of it on her spoon, watches the broth spill over the sides. It's rodent. Sam insists it's a mammal, maybe a little like rabbit, but rodents are mammals. Taking a bite, Vala smiles around her spoon.

Sam smiles back, but her smile is no longer enough to light up a room and Vala looks away.

***

You're all I have left.

Sam never speaks the words, but she says them just them same. They're written across Vala's skin in the desperate tenderness of Sam's touch, in the way she buries herself between Vala's legs until Vala's so spent she can't move, in the rocking of her hips against Vala's thigh, her face buried in the crook of Vala's shoulder.

I'm sorry.

Vala never says the words, either, but they're there when she kisses Sam with a sweetness she never had the right to, but claimed anyway, just like she has so many other things.

***

She stops in the door way. Stops and almost turns around. Sam isn't the only one who wants to hang on to SG-1, to what they were, but you don't survive by hanging on. And Vala Mal Doran has always known how to survive.

She's going to teach Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter to survive, too. Because Samantha is all she has left and surviving alone is better than dying together.

She closes the door softly behind her, not noticing when Sam stirs, never hearing the whispered good-bye.