Phantom Menace


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From Bi The Way, at

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Title: Interruptions

Fandom: Phantom Menace

Author's email:

Author's URL:

Category: Slash

Pairing: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi

Archive: Ask first

Rating: R

Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan return to their quarters after dinner with the Council.

Warnings: None. This is more of a chuckle than spew story, I think.

Beta: Thank you to Pumpkin for the quick beta, letting me have use of the brain, and, most importantly, her friendship.

"Master," Obi-Wan began as soon as they entered their quarters. "I think they suspect something."

"The Council?" Qui-Gon's disbelief was evident in his tone. "They couldn't add two and two on Yoda's fingers."

"I'm not so sure of that. There was something not quite right about dinner tonight."

"You're just being paranoid, love. No one suspects us." Qui-Gon took a step toward his apprentice. "But I would be happy to provide reassurance."

Obi-Wan took an answering step forward. "And just what form would this reassurance take?"

Standing directly in front of Obi-Wan now, Qui-Gon titled his head slightly, considering. "I could take you into my arms. An embrace can be very reassuring."


"I could send feelings of warmth and support along our link."

"Yes, but somehow I don't think that would be enough."

"I could try to distract you from your troubles."

"That might work. What kind of distraction did you have in mind?" Obi-Wan was gazing upward, directly into his Master's eyes.

"A really good distraction keeps both the mind and the body occupied. Don't you think?"

"I do. But what would keep both my mind and my body occupied?"

"Perhaps this." Qui-Gon dropped to his knees and swiftly tugged Obi-Wan's leggings down just enough to expose his semi-erect penis. Then he took it into his mouth and began to suck softly.

Obi-Wan groaned and leaned into the door behind him. "That might work," he managed to sputter.

Qui-Gon's chuckle did not escape his mouth.


"It's all well and good to say that we will discover them in time, but how are we going to discover them, Master?" Depa Billaba asked.

Before Master Yoda could answer, Councilor Mundi spoke up, "Cameras."

Master Billaba turned to stare at him. "I know you think Obi-Wan is attractive, but really. I can't believe a member of the Jedi Council would suggest such a thing."

Master Yaddle came to his defense. "Has a point he does. No doubt, with cameras."

Master Yoda shook his head. "No, violate my padawan's privacy to such an extent I will not. No cameras, will there be." He tilted his head slightly. "Drop in on them we can, unexpectedly. In their quarters, in the practice rooms. Maybe arrange for them to be stuck in elevator, left alone in council chambers."

"We'll need excuses for all of that," Mace Windu pointed out.

"Have them we will. After seven hundred years, good with excuses, I am."

"Couldn't we just have them examined by the healers? Have the healers look for evidence of sexual activity." Councilor Koth asked. He was finding his colleagues new found fascination with sex more than a little distasteful.

"Have to explain to healers, we would." Yoda shook his head again. "Not worth risk. Find out ourselves we must."

"Who is going to drop in on them first? And what excuse will they use?" Master Windu asked.


Obi-Wan was still breathing heavily when the door chime sounded. He hastily tugged up his leggings. Qui-Gon had risen from the floor and Obi-Wan was relieved to see that his master's tunic was sufficient to hide Qui-Gon's considerable erection. However, his hair was disheveled. Reaching out with the force Obi-Wan smoothed his master's hair. Satisfied that they looked presentable, he admitted their visitor.

It was Master Koth, holding an empty cup. "I'm sorry to intrude, but I was wondering if I could borrow some tea."

"Of course, Eeth, come in," Qui-Gon answered, ignoring, or perhaps not recognizing, the pointed look Obi-Wan was giving him. "What flavor would you like? I've several on hand." Qui-Gon led him into the kitchen. Obi-Wan stared after them, fervently hoping the Master Koth would not notice the white flecks in Qui-Gon's beard, or would be unable to identify them if he did.

A few minutes later, they returned. "Thank you, Qui-Gon, I appreciate it. I just wasn't up to a trip to the stores."

"Understandable." Qui-Gon clapped him on the back. "Stop by anytime."

Obi-Wan nearly choked.

As soon as the door slid shut, Obi-Wan turned on his master. "What were you thinking? Stop by anytime? He nearly caught us."

"Calm yourself, Padawan. One can hardly be inhospitable to a Council Member."

"Hmmpf. What I want to know is: why was he here?"

"He was out of tea. It is very distressing to be out of tea, you know."

"Master, I have lived here for seven years. Never, in all that time, has Master Koth come by to borrow tea, or sugar for that matter."

"Well, we are away a great deal. Maybe he's tried before but we weren't here."

Obi-Wan wondered, not for the first time, how a Jedi Master could be so obtuse. "Has he ever come here to borrow tea in the last twenty years?"


"And why do you think that is?"

"Because he never ran out before."

"Maybe it's because he lives on the other side of the Temple and the storage facility is closer to him than we are," Obi-Wan nearly shouted.

"Oh, I hadn't considered that."

"They're up to something. I can feel it."

"The Council? Obi-Wan you worry far too much." Qui-Gon took his apprentice's hands and began walking backwards, toward his bed chamber, pulling Obi-Wan with him. "Let me take your mind off of your troubles."

Obi-Wan followed, wondering if Qui-Gon were always going to remain this insatiable, and if he was, how was Obi-Wan ever going to complete his training?


Obi-Wan had to admit that Qui-Gon had succeeded in taking his mind off of his troubles. Or he would have if he had been capable of thinking about anything other than the way Qui-Gon's nipple felt in his mouth, and the delicious sounds his master has making as he arched upward. Despite his own earlier orgasm, he was now unconsciously pressing himself firmly against Qui-Gon's thigh in rhythm with his sucking.


He lifted his head and was pulled into an embrace, Qui-Gon's mouth descending hungrily onto his own. He could feel Qui-Gon's erection beneath him and he pushed against it. Desire coursed through him.

The door chime sounded.

Groaning, they separated. Obi-Wan reached for his tunic, pulled it on. "I'll get it."

The door opened, revealing Master Rancisis. "Good evening, Councilor."

"Good evening, Padawan Kenobi. I was wondering if I might," he hesitated, "borrow some tea." He lifted the empty cup in his hand.

"Of course," he led the councilor to the kitchen. "Do you have a preference?"

"Uhh, no. Any tea will be fine."

"The darjeeling is especially good," Qui-Gon said from the doorway. He was leaning against it in a way which made Obi-Wan's heart race.

"I'll try that then." Master Rancisis said. His discomfort was glaringly obvious and Obi-Wan wondered at the cause.

Apparently so did Qui-Gon. "It is distressing to be without tea," he said understandingly.

"Yes. Well, uhh, I should be going."

Qui-Gon stepped back out of the doorway and waited politely for Master Rancisis. Obi-Wan followed and together they accompanied the Master to the door.

"Thank you for the tea."

"You're welcome. Stop by anytime," Qui-Gon answered smoothly.

The door slid shut and Obi-Wan turned to his master. "Don't tell me that was normal."

"No, but it was probably just a coincidence."

"A coincidence? Two Council members come by to borrow tea and you think it's a coincidence?"

"Do you have a better explanation?"

"No, but I can't believe…"

"It'll keep until morning, Padawan," Qui-Gon interrupted. He wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's waist and pulled him close. "I want you. Come back to bed." He accompanied the words with images that caused Obi-Wan's breath to stop.

"Yes, Master," he managed to choke out.

A few minutes later, Qui-Gon asked, "Do you think he noticed that your tunic was inside out?"


Qui-Gon's large hands were sending waves of pleasure through him. Obi-Wan groaned and began to move his hips in time to Qui-Gon's stroking.

"Qui-Gon," he groaned. Warm lips covered his in response. He wrapped his arms around his master, pulling Qui-Gon down on top of him. Qui-Gon released his penis and moved his hips, brushing their erections together.

The door chime sounded. "No," Obi-Wan groaned. Qui-Gon rolled off of him, bringing an arm up to cover his face. Obi-Wan pushed himself off of the bed and pulled on his tunic and leggings. After checking that they were on properly this time, he went to open the door.

Councilor Mundi. With an empty cup. "I was just wondering if I could borrow some tea."

"Of course. Right this way." He led Mundi into the kitchen. The councilor was looking around as if searching for something.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh, no. Of course not. I was just wondering, where's Qui-Gon?"

"Meditating in his chambers."

"Ah. And you, young Kenobi, what do you do while your Master meditates?"

I masturbate while I imagine him fucking me silly. What do you think I do? "At the moment I am trying to prepare for the astrophysics exam next week."

"Advance preparation? Very commendable."

"Thank you, Councilor. Have you decided on a tea yet?"

"I'll just take a couple of these, if that's all right?"

"Of course. Take as many as you like."

"These will do. Thank you."

Obi-Wan stood near the doorway, waiting for the Councilor. Mundi didn't move. Finally, he gestured with his arm, "After you, Councilor."

Mundi looked slightly abashed as he stepped through the doorway. Qui-Gon was standing on the other side.

"Councilor Mundi dropped by for some tea."

"Did he?" Qui-Gon answered, blue eyes boring into Mundi.

"Yes. I ran out. It's a terrible thing to be without tea you know." Qui-Gon nodded. "So it is."

"Well, uh, I'll be going then." He turned to Obi-Wan and smiled. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"You're welcome. Stop by anytime."

The door slid shut.

"Stop by anytime," Qui-Gon grated.

"You did say we needed to be hospitable to Council members."

"Not to him."


"He wants you."


"He wants you. Didn't you notice the way he looked at you during dinner? And the way his eyes followed you when you got up to return the dishes."

"Now who is being paranoid?"

"Not me. And, it appears, not you either."

"So you believe me?"

"I may be a little obtuse sometimes, but I am not stupid." He reached for Obi-Wan. "Now where were we?"

"Wearing a lot less and lying down, as I recall."

"And doing this," Qui-Gon added as he brought his lips down on Obi-Wan's.


Obi-Wan groaned and pulled himself away, heading for the bedroom and the abandoned bottle of vegetable oil. Re-entering the common room he stopped for a moment to admire the scene in front of him. Qui-Gon was nude, kneeling on the floor, his forearms resting on the couch in front of him, his head resting on his forearms. He looked vulnerable, a word Obi-Wan had never previously associated with his master, and wanton, also a word he was unused to using to describe Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan knelt behind him, opening the bottle. He had just begun to pour some oil into his hand when the door chime sounded.

"Not again," Qui-Gon muttered.

"Can't we just ignore it? Maybe whoever it is will think we're not here."

Qui-Gon was already on his feet, pulling on clothing. "If it's a council member, they'll most likely know we're here."

Sighing, Obi-Wan sat down the bottle and began to pull on his own clothes. It was awkward to do one-handed, but the other hand was damp with oil. Noticing his dilemma, Qui-Gon wrapped Obi-Wan's belt around his waist and fastened it. The chimes sounded again. "Go wash that hand. I'll get the door."

Obi-Wan did as he was told and was still standing at the kitchen sink, drying his hands, when Yareal Poof entered with Qui-Gon. "Good evening, Councilor."

"Good evening, Obi-Wan. I just stopped by to borrow some…"

"Tea?" Obi-Wan suggested.

"Sugar. I have tea, but nothing to sweeten it with."

"I like sugar in my tea as well. Qui-Gon is of the opinion that I am ruining it."

"That's because your cup is half sugar. I'm sure Councilor Poof is more judicious in his use of sweeteners."

"Oh, I am. Not usual for me to run out, not usual at all."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchanged looks. "I'm sure it isn't, Councilor," Qui-Gon said gently.

They walked back into the common room, all three of them noticing the bottle of vegetable oil on the floor at the same moment. Obi-Wan panicked, felt Qui-Gon do the same. "I, ahhh, was using it to…"

Obi-Wan started, picking up the bottle.

"Treat the leather on his boots." Qui-Gon finished abruptly.

"Really?" Master Poof asked his long neck undulating disturbingly as he turned his head from one to the other. "Does it work well?"

"Very well, Master." Obi-Wan answered, his voice suddenly an octave higher than usual.

"I shall have to try it then." He moved toward the door. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan trailed after him. "Thank you for the sugar."

"Of course. We're happy to be of service." Qui-Gon answered. Just as Master Poof was leaving, he asked, "Do you think the Council will have another mission for us soon?"

"I don't know. Are you anxious to be away?"

"Obi-Wan and I are both happiest when we are working."

Master Poof smiled. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan didn't notice. "Thank you again." Then he was gone.

They walked to the couch and collapsed on it, side by side. After several minutes, Obi-Wan asked, "Why did you inquire about a mission?"

"Because I'm beginning to think it is the only way we will get any privacy."

He extended an arm in invitation and Obi-Wan moved next to him, settling his head on Qui-Gon's shoulder.

"What do you think they're up to?"

Qui-Gon rested his cheek against Obi-Wan's hair. "I have no idea. But whatever it is Yoda is behind it."

"How do you know?"

"I'm out of tea. Only Yoda could up with an excuse that lame."

They sat in silence for several more minutes. "Come, Obi-Wan. Let's go to bed." Qui-Gon rose and tugged Obi-Wan up next to him. "If we can't have sex, we might as well get some sleep."

"You don't want to try again?"

"Not tonight. I can only imagine who would show up if we did."