Phantom Menace


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The Elevator


Title: The Elevator

Fandom: Phantom Menace

Author's email:

Author's URL:

Category: Slash

Pairing: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi

Archive: Ask first

Rating: PG

Summary: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have returned to Coruscant after surrendering their virginity in an effort to avoid being volcano food. This story will make no sense if you haven't read the others in the series.

Beta: Thank you to Pumpkin for the beta.

AN: Just to warn you. This series will, in all likelihood, never be finished. I wrote this story at least eighteen months ago. Pumpkin looked it over then and pronounced it fit for general consumption, but I never got around to posting it. I was telling Emu about it recently and she laughed, so I thought "What the heck? I might as well post it."

"So what did you find out?" Mace Windu asked, starting the Council session.

They all turned to Eeth Koth. "Nothing. I couldn't sense anything amiss, although Qui-Gon was walking a little oddly. And there was something in his beard. Other than that everything seemed perfectly normal."

"What about you?" Mace directed his question to Master Rancisis.

"Nothing unusual. But Obi-Wan's tunic was fitting him a little strangely." His face grew thoughtful. "Almost as though it were on backwards."

"Mundi?" Mace asked.

The Councilor shook his head. "Nothing. I looked closely, too. They weren't even in the same room. Qui-Gon was meditating and Obi-Wan was studying."

"What about Obi-Wan's tunic?"

Mundi shrugged. "It seemed fine to me."

"And I'm sure you thought Obi-Wan filled it out very nicely." Depa Billaba said acidly.

Yoda banged his gimmer stick on the floor. "Sarcasm unbecoming for Jedi. Use it not, you will."

She bowed her head. "Yes, Master."

Mace looked at Master Poof. "What did you find, Yareal?"

"Nothing unusual, except for the bottle of oil in their common room."

"Oil, what kind of oil?" Mace was puzzled.

"Vegetable oil."

"Why would anyone have vegetable oil in their common room?"

"Obi-Wan uses it to oil his boots."

"His boots? Does that work?"

"Apparently so."

Master Billaba looked at Mundi. "Surely you've noticed the condition of Obi-Wan's boots. Anything odd about them?"

Mundi flushed, but he still answered. "I never noticed anything. Although they do seem to be exceptionally soft and smooth."

"Uh, huh." She snorted.

Yoda sighed. "Work, dropping by did not. Move on to plan B, we should."


Qui-Gon considered his own state of mind as he punched the elevator button. It was not a state he was accustomed to; so far he had catalogued an unusually strong desire to snarl at people, and a need to use more strength than really necessary when doing things like pushing elevator buttons. He pushed again. The door opened and he stepped inside. He pushed the button for the roof, hoping that the gardens there would soothe his frazzled nerves.

He had gone exactly twelve feet when the elevator stopped. He growled. It was not a good day.


Obi-Wan sensed Qui-Gon's annoyance immediately. He had been blocking his master's irritation since they woke up this morning, too late to indulge their more carnal desires and still see to their duties. Being Jedi, they had put duty first. A decision Obi-Wan quickly came to regret when the depth of his master's irritation became apparent.

The annoyance faded, and Obi-Wan returned to his text.


Qui-Gon stepped off of the elevator a precise model of Jedi calm. He waited patiently while the technician examined the elevator. Assured that it was now fine, he stepped aboard again. This time the elevator went twenty-two feet. Closer to his destination, but still…

When he stepped off, once again on the main floor, he was not quite so patient with the technician.

Watching from the wings, Master Yoda slapped his gimmer stick against Mace Windu's shin. "Wait until Obi-Wan was with him you should. No good it does if trapped alone he is."

Master Windu resisted the urge to rub his bruised leg. "Yes, Master."

"Need to find out we do, if sex you ever wish to have."

"Yes, Master."


Exiting the library, Obi-Wan stepped onto the elevator.

Waiting for his padawan on the main floor, Qui-Gon noticed as soon as the elevator stopped moving. He leaned his head against the wall and sighed. It had not been a good day.