chelle

Phantom Menace

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From Bi The Way, at http://www.bitheway.org/

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Exigency

chelle

Title: Exigency

Author: chelle

Author's email: chelle@slashcity.org

Author's URL: http://chelle.slashcity.org/

Fandom: Phantom Menace

Category: Slash

Pairing: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi

Archive: Ask first

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Obi-Wan tries to win back the love he believes he has lost.

Beta: Thank you to Pumpkin for reading this through and giving content advice, which I took.

AN: I know that it is customary when writing a sequel to someone else's story to thank the original author for graciously granting permission for the sequel. So (taking deep breath) Thank you, Emu, you bloody Sith. I may curse her for the bunny, but I do wish to thank Emu for the thorough beta. There is even a line or two in here that is hers.

Obi-Wan stood at the edge of the practice area, watching his master. Qui-Gon was assisting Master T'gau with the upper level initiates. A young Iktotchi stumbled, was caught by strong arms, reassured by a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.

Once his master had touched him like that, with unselfconscious affection. No longer. Qui-Gon hadn't touched him with so much as a fingertip since that night.

Obi-Wan doubted Qui-Gon even realized he was there. His master had all but closed their bond, leaving it open only enough so that he could sense if Obi-Wan were attacked or injured. Not for the first time, Obi-Wan considered throwing all of his pain at the loss of Qui-Gon into the bond.

Fear stopped him. Fear that his master wouldn't notice or wouldn't care. He wasn't sure which would be worse.

Qui-Gon had his arm around another of the initiate's shoulders as he squatted beside the boy, explaining something.

Obi-Wan turned away.

He didn't see his master turn to look at the place where he had stood.

Sparring with Qui-Gon had once been a joy. The two of them sharing their pleasure in surrendering to the Force, letting it guide and nurture them. Attacks and counterattacks that were more a dance than a fight. They danced no longer. Now, they fought.

Obi-Wan parried his master's thrust to his left, but he reached too far, exposing his right. Qui-Gon's lightsaber was there in the same instant Obi-Wan realized his mistake. Contact. Qui-Gon's lightsaber burning into him. Both the wrong lightsaber and the wrong location, he thought humorlessly.

Qui-Gon simply stepped back, dangling his weapon, waiting for Obi-Wan to rejoin the battle. This, too, was new. Previously, all sparring injuries, however minor, had been healed by the two of them, working together. Now, his master left him to fix himself.

He was on the verge of reigniting his saber when a voice from the door asked, "Master Jinn, may I speak with Obi-Wan for a moment?"

Bant. Not someone his master wanted to see him with, or with whom he wished to be seen.

"Of course," Qui-Gon answered, and only Obi-Wan noticed that his tone held more ice than courtesy.

Bant stepped into the room, moving to Obi-Wan's side. "I wanted to say good-bye. Master Doran and I are being sent to Corellia."

Obi-Wan grinned at her. "Remember to spend some time focusing on the mission instead of ogling the pilots."

"I don't ogle."

"Very well. Try to spend some time focusing on the mission instead of bedding the pilots."

Bant chuckled. "I'll try." Her smile faded. "I don't know when we'll be back…" Her voice trailed off.

"And we'll probably be gone when you do," Obi-Wan answered quietly, taking in the sadness in her eyes.

"Take care of yourself, Obi."

"I will," he promised. "You do the same."

"I will. Easier for me, I think."

Obi-Wan didn't answer, just pulled her into a tight hug.

Bant turned, bowed to Qui-Gon. "Thank you for allowing the interruption, Master Jinn."

Qui-Gon nodded. "May the force be with you and Master Doran, Padawan."

"And you as well." She turned to face Obi-Wan once again, caught and squeezed a hand. "Still friends," she whispered.

Obi-Wan squeezed back. "Always."

She dropped his hand and walked out.

Obi-Wan looked up at his master, hoping to see curiosity, hoping his master would ask. Qui-Gon's face hadn't lost the impassivity that had begun to fill his apprentice's nightmares. His master raised his saber, and once again they fought.

The evening passed as so many others had. Obi-Wan was alone in their quarters, wondering where Qui-Gon was, what he was doing, with whom he was doing it.

Following his disastrous and very short-lived affair with Bant, Obi-Wan had taken to spending his evenings in their quarters. He would prepare Qui-Gon's favorite tea, straighten their quarters, and sit studying on the floor, as close to his master as he dared. After several nights of this, Qui-Gon had stopped coming home.

His routine was now straighten, then wait. All of the waiting had made for considerable improvement in his studies. If there was one thing a Jedi apprentice could do it was concentrate. So Obi-Wan concentrated, on astrophysics, Republic history, ethics, and, when he was done, Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan was impatient for a mission, because on missions things happened. Padawans sustained injuries which could only be healed when their masters reached across the bond between them. At such moments the master inevitably saw the pure love buried within the padawan's heart.

Alternatively, the master might be injured, saved from death only by an apprentice willing to risk his own life for that of the master he loved.

Then there were the missions where they were trapped alone together for extended periods of time. Time which allowed them to iron out the differences between them.

Even better were the missions where someone inadvertently fed a mind-altering chemical to the master, one which caused him to lose control, to make fast, furious love to his very willing apprentice.

Obi-Wan knew it would never happen that way. Given the direction his life had taken their next mission would be to Corellia and Qui-Gon would be even fonder of pilots than Bant was.

He shifted on the couch, draping his leg over the back in an effort to accommodate the erection which was the inevitable result of thinking about Qui-Gon. Maybe his master would ask about Bant. Obi-Wan could explain then, explain how he confused friendship with love. How they knew within fifteen minutes it was a mistake, although it had taken them nearly a week to admit. How the last time he had been with Bant he couldn't become aroused unless he thought about Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan sighed. Somehow he doubted Qui-Gon would appreciate that last. I was with her, but I was thinking of you. No, Qui-Gon would not appreciate that at all.

The door slid open. His master was home, earlier than usual. Obi-Wan sat up, hopeful.

"We have a Council session tomorrow: I suggest you go to bed, Padawan." Qui-Gon barely paused long enough to say the words, and then he was gone, the door to his bed chamber closing between them.

A mission, Obi-Wan's heart sang. A mission.

"Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi, concerned we are."

Obi-Wan waited passively for an explanation. What part of the galaxy had the Council concerned this time?

"It is obvious that something is wrong between you," Master Windu added.

Obi-Wan started.

"We have no wish to pry. We only wish to inform you that you will be removed from the active duty roster until the problem is resolved. If you cannot resolve it alone, then I suggest you seek assistance from the healers or from one of us."

Obi-Wan glanced at his master. Qui-Gon gave no sign of being the least bit disturbed. He simply bowed his head in acknowledgment.

They were dismissed and Obi-Wan followed his master back to their quarters, torn between trepidation and hope.

Qui-Gon had nearly reached the door to his bed chamber when Obi-Wan called to him. "Master."

"Yes?" Qui-Gon didn't turn around.

"Don't you think we should talk, try to resolve this?" Qui-Gon didn't respond. "Or do you want to remain on Coruscant until I am knighted?"

Qui-Gon turned, his expression distant, unreadable. He moved to the couch, sat. "What do you wish to say?"

Obi-Wan stared at him, swallowed nervously. He breathed slowly, seeking calm, ignoring his master's unfeeling gaze. Then he strode across the room, dropped to his knees in front of his master.

"I hurt you, Master. I was thoughtless, selfish. I didn't consider your feelings. I am so very sorry, Master. Can…" Obi-Wan forced himself to look at Qui-Gon, although at that moment it felt like the hardest thing he had ever done. "Can you forgive me?"

"You're forgiven. Anything else?"

You don't sound forgiving, Obi-Wan thought. "Will you reopen our bond?"

Qui-Gon glanced at him. "It isn't closed."

"Not completely, but I can barely sense you." This time his courage failed and his eyes focused on his master's knee. "I miss you, Master."

"Given that you are now an adult, with adult relationships, I feel it is best for both of us if we keep the link to a minimum."

"I don't have a lover." Obi-Wan struggled to sound matter of fact. He wanted to plead.

"Nevertheless, the potential is there. I have no doubt you'll be in love again soon."

Obi-Wan tried to ignore the callous disregard in his master's voice. "There won't be anyone else," he said quietly.

Qui-Gon patted his shoulder, patronizing. "Don't worry, I'm sure you will recover from the loss of Bant."

"I don't want Bant. That was a mistake. I want you."

"Me?" Qui-Gon chuckled. "You want me?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Anger shot through him. "You wanted me not all that long ago."

"So I did."

Obi-Wan could almost hear the rest of the sentence, 'but I don't any longer. I've learned better.' "I know I didn't behave very well the last time we were together. Please, I've learned a great deal since then. I understand my own feelings more now; I understand more about love now."

"All that? In a mere five weeks?" Qui-Gon paused. "You always were a quick learner."

Sarcasm, Obi-Wan hated it when Qui-Gon was sarcastic. He straightened his shoulders; he would not let Qui-Gon defeat him, not at this. "I am a quick learner. You should know that. You have taught me most of what I know." He lowered his voice. "You have taught me the lessons most worth learning, Master."

Qui-Gon remained silent. The silence was even worse than the sarcasm. At least sarcasm was a reaction.

He tried again. "Please, Master. Open our bond. Let me-"

"No."

He was at a loss. He should just face reality, accept the fact that he had lost his master's love. "Just one night," he heard himself saying, begging. "Just one night to prove to you how I feel. Please."

He could feel Qui-Gon's implacable gaze and he forced himself to look up. He thought he saw a brief flash of something, maybe hope, in his master's eyes, but then it as gone.

"One night. Then we will never discuss this again."

Perhaps Qui-Gon had not given up on him after all. "Yes, Master." Obi-Wan resisted the urge to grab his master's hands and pull him into the bedroom. He had to think, plan. "Master, why don't you take a bath?"

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow.

"I need some time. I need to make preparations. I wouldn't want us to run out of lube again."

"Planning on using a lot of it are you?" There was a hint of hostility in the voice, and Obi-Wan quailed.

He would prove himself to Qui-Gon. He would. "Yes, I am."

His master seemed taken aback by the firmness of his reply, but said nothing as he rose and went to the fresher. Obi-Wan looked frantically around the room. Candles, he had to find candles.

Qui-Gon entered his bedroom to find candlelight flickering off of every wall. The room fairly glowed. It also smelled. He looked around, locating the incense burning in the corner. Loacinthe, an aphrodisiac, and not an easy one to find. Obi-Wan had done some planning.

The stand next to his bed held not just one, but several tubes of lubricant. Obi-Wan was nowhere to be seen.

"Master."

The voice came from behind him. He turned. Obi-Wan was clad in just leggings, the candlelight creating shadows which danced across his skin. Qui-Gon fought the feelings the sight stirred in him. He had opened himself to his apprentice once; it was a mistake he would not repeat. Obi-Wan could have his body. His heart would remain his own.

"May I?" Obi-Wan's hands were at the tie holding his robe closed. He nodded and the robe was swiftly opened, pushed from his shoulders. Obi-Wan took his hand, led him to the bed. "Will you lie on your side for me?" Again, Qui-Gon didn't answer. He simply did as he was asked, stretching out on his side, facing Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan settled in next to him, resting his head on one elbow, tracing Qui-Gon's cheek with his free hand. "I should probably tell you what I have planned."

"If you wish." Qui-Gon knew his aloof tone had to hurt, but he refused to feel anything else.

"I do," Obi-Wan answered quietly. "For once, Qui-Gon, I am going to put this mouth of mine to good use." He smiled softly. "I'm going to use it to worship you." A finger traced Qui-Gon's lips. "I'll start by kissing you, with the light, tantalizing kisses you taught me. I'll let them deepen slowly, not stopping until I've tasted every bit of your mouth. I'll tangle my hands in your hair while I'm kissing you." He ran his hand through the long, heavy strands. "It's so soft."

I thought you didn't like long hair. Qui-Gon didn't say it.

Fingertips moved down his neck. "Then I'll kiss you here, licking, nipping, learning what pleases you." He raised his hand, traced Qui-Gon's ear. "Are you sensitive here, Master? Do you like to have a tongue probing lightly inside, gentle sucking here?" His earlobe was held between a thumb and forefinger. "Don't answer. I'll find out soon enough."

Obi-Wan's eyes left his face, dropping to his chest. A hand followed. "You are so strong, Master, so much muscle. I like the way it feels under my hand, your strength. Do you know how much I rely on it, on you?" A finger rested beneath Qui-Gon's collarbone. "I'm going to kiss you here, taste your skin." He moved the hand lower.

"And here." A fingertip leisurely traced a nipple. "And here. Are your nipples sensitive, Master? Do you like them sucked lightly, or hard? Or would you rather have me nip them?" Qui-Gon opened his mouth, but Obi-Wan pressed his fingers against it. "Don't tell me. Let your reactions tell me."

Obi-Wan smiled at him, leaned forward as though he were going to kiss him, then planted a quick kiss on the end of his nose. His apprentice's hand now slid down his abdomen. "I'll kiss my way across here. Moving lower, closer to where you want me. But I won't go there, not yet." He moved his hand across Qui-Gon's hip bone. "I'll go here instead, then work my way down along your leg." Obi-Wan sat up, allowing him to reach between Qui-Gon's legs to cup his inner thigh. "Maybe I'll suck on the skin here, hard enough to leave a mark. Would you like that, Qui-Gon? A mark only we know about?" He slid his hand lower, stretching to reach a foot.

"How do you feel about feet? Do you like having them caressed, or do you find it ticklish? Or does it just leave you cold? Has anyone ever sucked on one of your toes?"

"You're not answering. That's good. You can answer me with your moans. You will moan for me, won't you, Master? Let me hear your pleasure?" The hand began to move up the other leg. "I probably won't spend as much time on this leg. I'll be just as anxious as you are to get back here." Qui-Gon's testicles were gently cupped. "What shall I do with these? Take each one into my mouth and suck gently? Pull small bits of skin into my mouth, sucking? I do know I'll run my tongue up your shaft, again and again. Then I'll circle the head with my tongue, tasting you. Will there be fluid for me, do you suppose? Will I be able to begin to learn your taste? I'll probe with my tongue, right here." A fingertip stroked across his slit and Qui-Gon bit back a moan. "I'll take the head in my mouth and suck. Then I'll begin to move my mouth lower, taking you in, until your cock is fully inside my mouth. Should I let you move your hips, or should I hold you still?" The corners of Obi-Wan's mouth twitched upward. "I haven't decided yet. I do know I won't let you come. If you could come more than once a night, I might."

"I can."

"What's that, Master?"

"I can come more than once a night." Qui-Gon somehow managed to control the flush that had started to color his cheeks.

"I thought you could." A soft smile. "Still, I don't think I'll let you come. Instead, I'll have you turn over onto your stomach. I'll straddle you and lean forward, pressing my cock against you so you can feel how hard I am for you, how much you excite me." He placed his hand on the back of Qui-Gon's neck. "I'll begin again, kissing you here." He moved his hand slowly downward, caressing. "I'll place kisses all along here."

"What do you think I'll do when I get here, Master?" His fingers teased the top of Qui-Gon's crease.

"Stop."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "In the past I would have. But you taught me differently. I'm going to taste you. I'm going to part you with my hands and slip my tongue inside. Would you like that, Master? Will you arch back toward me, try to get me to probe deeper?" Obi-Wan's fingers slid lower and deeper. "I will, you know. I'm going to taste you, as deeply, as thoroughly as I can. Can you come from rimming, Master? Someday maybe I will try to make you. But not tonight. Tonight I am going to stop." He paused, smiled. "I am going to stop and ask you a question. Do you want to know what I am going to ask you?"

Qui Gon swallowed, nodded.

Obi-Wan leaned close, his voice low. "I am going to ask you to fuck me." He pulled back, seeking Qui-Gon's eyes with his own. "If you say yes, I will ask you if you want to prepare me, or if you want me to do it. Which will you choose, Master? Will you want to slide your fingers into me, feeling me clench around them, thinking about how it will feel when I'm clenching your cock? Or would you like to watch me leaning back, sliding my own fingers into my ass, getting it ready for you? Imagine it, Master. I will look straight into your eyes, letting my love for you, my desire for you, show in my face as I work my fingers deeper. I'll be in a hurry. Maybe you will tell me to go slower, to be more gentle. But I won't listen, because I'll be desperate for you."

Qui-Gon knew he couldn't hide the impact of Obi-Wan's words. He was more aroused than he could ever remember being, and Obi-Wan had barely touched him. Just the thought of seeing Obi-Wan like that…

"I think I know which one you'll choose, my Master." Obi-Wan leaned close again, his mouth almost touching Qui-Gon's. "I want to kiss you so badly. But not yet. I haven't finished telling you what we're going to do." He pulled back. "I'll prepare you. My hands will stroke your cock, covering it with lubricant. It will be so hard not to make you come. I want to see you come. But I'll let you take me any way you want. Because I want to feel it, feel you. You in the place inside me that only you've been, that only you will ever be. You, taking me, claiming me, making me yours. I want that so badly, Master. To be yours, only yours."

I want to believe you, Obi-Wan. I want to trust you. Convince me. Make me believe. Once again, Qui-Gon bit back the words.

"Shall we begin, Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan's voice slid through him, making him shudder. Then soft lips were on his, barely there, teasing him.

It had begun.

The kisses were exactly what Obi-Wan had promised they would be, a light exploration of his mouth. Qui-Gon fought the desire to respond, to thrust his tongue deeply into the mouth above his. Obi-Wan's taste. He closed his eyes, trying to forget that taste.

He was rolled onto his back, and Obi-Wan, still clad in his leggings, stretched out atop him.

Strong hands tangled in his hair, tilting his head to the side, exposing his neck to Obi-Wan's lips and tongue and teeth. Qui-Gon gripped the sheets, thought he heard a tearing sound. He wouldn't respond. He couldn't. He had given the boy- Warm suction on his earlobe and he cried out, hips thrusting involuntarily upward.

"I guess I have my answer to the ear lobe question," Obi-Wan whispered. "What about inside?"

A warm tongue flicking just inside his ear, soft breath, both belonging to Obi-Wan. He controlled himself better this time. No thrusting, no calling out, but somehow Obi-Wan knew anyway and the caress was repeated, a bit firmer, a bit deeper this time.

He almost sighed in relief as his ear was abandoned. Until he felt the trail Obi-Wan was making across his chest.

Obi-Wan paused in his explorations, lifted his head. Qui-Gon couldn't see him; his eyes were still tightly closed. It was childish he knew, but he also knew that the sight of Obi-Wan caressing him would be his undoing.

"I like the way you taste. Do you taste the same everywhere, Master? Or will your cock have a slightly different flavor?"

Qui-Gon tensed as his padawan resumed his caresses. He wasn't far from a nipple. Qui-Gon wouldn't react, he wouldn't. He could feel Obi-Wan poised above it, his breath hot, causing the skin to tighten further. Qui Gon held his breath.

Nothing. Obi-Wan kissed the area beneath, resumed his journey downward. Qui-Gon released his breath, telling himself he wasn't disappointed.

Sucking, hard, demanding sucking. His other nipple was suddenly captured and Qui-Gon's control left him. Hands abandoned the sheets to clasp his padawan's head, his body arched, pushing him toward that mouth.

Gradually, the suction eased and Qui-Gon loosened his grip on Obi-Wan, dropping back onto the bed. Gentle licks followed, soothing.

Obi-Wan shifted his position slightly and a tongue swirled around the other nipple, comforting and teasing. Obi-Wan's lips closed over brown flesh, pulling upward, letting the nipple slide out of his mouth before closing around it once again. The caress was repeated until Qui-Gon couldn't stop the moan building in his chest.

Obi-Wan sucked harder then, thrusting his hips against Qui-Gon's as he did so.

So hard. Qui-Gon wasn't sure if the thought was about his erection or Obi-Wan's.

Obi-Wan was moving lower, kissing, sucking. Hands held his hips still as Obi-Wan's mouth drew nearer. As promised, that mouth changed direction, a tongue tracing along his hip bone.

"I didn't think it would be this difficult."

He had been right. Obi-Wan's desire was rooted in guilt, not love.

"Your cock. It's right there. Asking me to touch it, to take it into my mouth. And I want to, Master. I want to."

An ache started in Qui-Gon's groin, began to spread.

"But I promised you legs first, and I refuse to break a promise to you. Not to you, not ever to you."

He bent Qui-Gon's leg, lowering his head to nip lightly at the inside of the master's thigh. His hair tickled Qui-Gon's shaft.

Suction, oh, Obi-Wan really was going to leave a mark. Qui-Gon's hands clenched the sheets again. He kept his mouth closed, grinding his teeth together in an effort not to call out.

Obi-Wan released his thigh, traced the area with a thumb. He didn't say a word, just resumed his downward journey.

A tongue slid along the back of his knee, and then his calf was being slowly tasted. Teeth nipped at his ankle, and he jerked his foot in response.

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Time to answer those feet questions, Master."

He ran a single finger along the bottom of Qui-Gon's foot, and Qui-Gon pulled it free of his grasp.

"Ticklish, then."

"Yes."

"I'll remember that. It could come in useful." Obi-Wan was stroking Qui-Gon's legs, each upward movement bringing his hands closer to Qui-Gon's groin.

"It also means I can get back up here." A hand paused next to Qui-Gon's testicles; Obi-Wan let his fingers glide lightly over them. "Sooner. After all, I have some sucking to do."

As originally promised, Obi-Wan made short work of the second leg and within minutes was leaning over Qui-Gon's erection.

"You know, Master, I've never thought of a penis as attractive before, but yours most definitely is. So straight." He ran fingertips lightly over the underside. "So smooth." He studied the head critically. "No fluid." A single finger circled the tip.

"I'm sure that will change."

He moved his attention lower, cupping Qui-Gon's testicles. "I believe I said I would start here."

Qui-Gon couldn't stop the moan as part of him was drawn into Obi-Wan's mouth. Never in his wildest imaginings had Obi-Wan been this wanton, this aggressive. Force help him, he loved it. He wasn't sure he could do this just once and not…One night, that was…What that boy could do with his mouth…

A hand closed around his shaft, holding it, as Obi-Wan's ministrations to his testicles continued.

Qui-Gon couldn't stop himself, he opened his eyes. Obi-Wan raised his head at exactly that moment and their eyes met. Qui-Gon inhaled sharply. Such desire in those eyes, such…It wasn't love. It was guilt. It was. He closed his eyes again.

A flick of tongue to the head of his cock. Long licks along his length. A tiny bit of skin at the base sucked into Obi-Wan's mouth, released. Another bit sucked, then another, until Obi-Wan reached the spot just below the head. Tongue alternating with suction until he found himself begging.

"Please, Obi-Wan, please…"

"Anything for you, Qui-Gon, anything."

Obi-Wan's voice had never sounded like that before. His attempts to analyze it were cut off as a warm mouth closed around his cock.

Every downward stroke of Obi-Wan's mouth took more of him inside. He wanted to thrust, but he held back, clinging to what remained of his control.

Obi-Wan stopped, and Qui-Gon groaned in protest.

"If I let you come, will you get hard for me again, will you still fuck me?" The voice was harsh, full of need.

"Always hard for you. Always want you." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"I want to taste you, Master. Want to feel your come spurting down my throat."

"Want to come for you, Obi-Wan. Want…"

Obi-Wan's mouth descended once again. This time there was no teasing, just a smooth easy rhythm that built and built until Qui-Gon was thrusting back. He opened his eyes and his movements ceased as he stared, transfixed by the sight of his cock in Obi-Wan's mouth. He watched for one long moment, then he was coming. Obi-Wan continued sucking, swallowing as Qui-Gon came in long shuddering spasms.

He was still shaking slightly when Obi-Wan settled next to him, drawing him into an embrace. He allowed the young man to position his head over Obi-Wan's heart. It was pounding. Without him even realizing it, his arms encircled Obi-Wan's waist. Obi-Wan held him as he struggled to find the control he needed to push the young man away.

Obi-Wan's hands stroked his back, soothing, until he stopped trembling. He wasn't sure how long Obi-Wan held him after that, before he placed a hand under Qui-Gon's chin and tilted his head upward.

The kiss was soft, gentle, yet somehow wildly erotic and Qui-Gon felt himself hardening in response. Maybe it was the taste of himself on Obi-Wan's lips. He didn't know. Wasn't sure he cared as he opened his mouth to Obi-Wan's probing, stroked his own tongue along that of his apprentice.

"Ready for more?" The question was asked quietly. Obi-Wan watched him intently, gauging his response.

Qui-Gon nodded once.

Obi-Wan smiled slightly then leaned in for more kisses. The kisses were disappointingly brief. Obi-Wan pulled away from him, stood next to the bed. He stripped his leggings off in one swift movement. He was…Qui-Gon turned away, ignoring the flash of hurt in Obi-Wan's eyes.

"You need to roll over." There was hurt in the voice as well.

Qui-Gon rolled over. Obi-Wan straddled his waist, leaning forward to brush his hair off of his shoulders, exposing his neck. As promised, he could feel Obi-Wan's erection pressing into his back. His mind flashed back to their first night together, to the feel of that flesh in his hand, to the sight of Obi-Wan lying in his arms, lost in orgasm. He pushed the memory aside.

Soft kisses were being placed along his neck, down across his shoulder. His Obi-Wan could be so delicate when he chose. Slowly, the mouth moved lower. Obi-Wan slid lower as well. He was now straddling Qui-Gon's ass, his cock pressing between Qui-Gon's cheeks.

He moved inexorably lower and Qui-Gon felt him reposition his knees between Qui-Gon's legs. The contact with Obi-Wan's cock was gone, and Qui-Gon missed it.

Obi-Wan was at the small of his back now, nipping lightly, his hands gliding over the globes of Qui-Gon's ass, fingers teasing the crease.

"I'm going to taste you now, Master. Will I like the taste I find here as much as I do your skin and your come?" His thumbs moved the length of Qui-Gon's crease, prying gently. "Only one way for me to find out, isn't there? Of course, I'm not sure it matters, since this is…" He inhaled shakily. "This is probably the only time you will let me do this."

Obi-Wan, he quailed silently.

A lick to the very top of his crease. A second. A third, starting lower this time. A fourth, starting still lower. He lost count as Obi-Wan probed slowly deeper. His hands were squeezing the pillow under his head.

His hips bucked upward and Obi-Wan took hold of them, stilling him. Obi-Wan's tongue circled his entrance, again, again. He was moaning. It flicked just inside and he gasped Obi-Wan's name. The action was repeated. He began to believe he really could come from just rimming.

"Obi-Wan, stop."

Another flick.

"Stop."

Obi-Wan stopped. "Is something wrong? Did I…"

Qui-Gon raised his torso, twisted around, stared at the young man between his legs. "No, you didn't…" A shaky breath. "If you want…I was too close."

Obi-Wan moved from between Qui-Gon's legs to lie partially under him. "Will you fuck me, Master?"

"Yes." I will. I will. I will.

"Do you want me to prepare myself for you?"

"Yes." No one had ever made him such an offer before, and the simple words completely belied their impact. He reached out, grabbed the first tube of lubricant, knocking the others to the floor. He opened it with shaking hands. Obi-Wan presented his own hand and Qui-Gon squirted some of the thick gel onto his fingers. Obi-Wan started to move his hand, but Qui-Gon captured it, using a touch of the Force to warm the lubricant.Obi-Wan smiled his appreciation. He held Qui-Gon's eyes with his own as he lowered his hand.

Leaning back on one elbow, Obi-Wan lowered his own gaze, drawing Qui-Gon's eyes downward, down to the place where he traced his own opening with a single finger. Qui-Gon watched as it was slowly pressed inside. Obi-Wan turned his hand, coating his insides, preparing himself for Qui-Gon's use.

The finger was withdrawn, replaced by another. Qui-Gon watched, transfixed by the erotic spell Obi-Wan was weaving.

That finger too was withdrawn and Obi-Wan held out his hand for more lubricant. This time he waited until Qui-Gon had warmed it before moving his hand.

Obi-Wan's index finger slipped inside, and Qui-Gon growled. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he covered his own finger in lubricant, then brought it to Obi-Wan's entrance. Gently he pushed forward, his finger joining Obi-Wan's. The rest of his hand closed over that of his apprentice and slowly he turned their joined hands. Together they caressed Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was staring at him, breathing rapidly, his expression showing nothing but need, desperate, aching need.

Qui-Gon pushed their fingers deeper, and Obi-Wan called out. "Please, Master, please, I need you, please."

Carefully, Qui-Gon withdrew their hands. His eyes fixed to Obi-Wan's, he turned the young man's hand palm up, once again squirting lubricant onto it. Obi-Wan's look was questioning. "You wanted to prepare me," he whispered.

Obi-Wan didn't answer, just reached for his master's cock. He was surprisingly slow, dragging his hand along Qui-Gon's length. Fingers covered the head of his cock, smearing it with gel. He inhaled sharply. He captured Obi-Wan's wrists with his hands and Obi-Wan slowly lay back, pulling their hands to the pillow behind his head, drawing his master down with him.

He was stretched out above Obi-Wan, who raised his knees, tilting his pelvis in a silent offering. Qui-Gon wanted to speak, wanted to let words of love, of devotion come spilling out. But he held back.

Releasing Obi-Wan's wrists, he sat back on his heels. He took Obi-Wan's hips in his hands, raising them. He positioned himself and began to push slowly forward.

Obi-Wan opened for him. He pressed and Obi-Wan opened. Taking him in, closing around him, until he felt he was drowning. Need, his own, Obi-Wan's, sucked at him, pulling him deeper, tugging him under.

He tried to pull away, but Obi-Wan's legs were wrapped around him, holding him.

Obi-Wan's shields dropped.

Need, desire, anxiety tinged with fear, love, want, hope. Obi-Wan's emotions battered him. He leaned forward, resting his weight on one arm. The other hand he raised to Obi-Wan's cheek. "I ca…"

Obi-Wan answered before he could finish. "I understand." Qui-Gon wasn't sure if it was the desolation in his padawan's voice, or the pain in his eyes, or the sense of loss that permeated the room, but for the first time in his adult life Qui-Gon Jinn dropped his shields. The hurt, the fear, the need, the love, the desire hidden deep within himself, the desire to love, to be loved in return. He let Obi-Wan see it all.

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him tight against Obi-Wan. Words tumbled from them both.

"I'm sorry."

"I couldn't."

"I know."

"I won't hurt you. Not again."

"Never again."

"Forgive me."

"I need…"

"I love…"

"You, always you, only you."

The words faded, replaced by desperate kisses.

Qui-Gon began to move, thrusting slow and hard. Obi-Wan clung to him, his limbs wrapped tightly around Qui-Gon. He moved harder, demanding. It wasn't enough. Somehow Obi-Wan must have known, or maybe he needed the same thing.

Obi-Wan began to move with him, thrusting back, equally hard, equally demanding.

Obi-Wan was shaking in his arms, his muscles clutching Qui-Gon painfully. Still they moved, beyond thought, beyond awareness of anything except each other.

Pleasure, intense and blinding. Desperation. He drove hard into Obi-Wan's compliant flesh, seeking solace, seeking comfort, seeking salvation. Seeking to fill the empty places in his soul.

Obi-Wan was crying out his name, begging. "Qui-Gon, come, please come, fill me. Need you to fill me, please. Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon growled in response, fought his way free of Obi-Wan's grasp. Sitting up, he took Obi-Wan's narrow hips in his hands, and drove forward. His eyes were on Obi-Wan's face as he thrust. Needing. Desperate.

Obi-Wan reached for him, fingertips gently caressing his cheek. It was that touch which proved to be his undoing. He climaxed. He pulled Obi-Wan onto him, and let go. Let it all go.

He had enough presence of mind to be gentle as he withdrew from Obi-Wan's body. Then he collapsed, the semen that covered Obi-Wan's chest coating his cheek. He was dimly aware of Obi-Wan building shields around them both. He was very aware of the hands stroking his hair.

His eyes flickered, closing, and he drifted into a dreamless sleep.