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Author's email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Author's URL: http://chelle.slashcity.org/
Archive: Ask first
Warnings: Underage content
Notes: This story was written for Femslash 07. It won't make much sense if you haven't seen season six of Buffy. Thank you to Danvers for the beta.
"You okay?" Dawn asked, leaning against the doorframe.
Willow looked up, she smiled, but Dawn could tell it wasn't real. "Fine. I'm fine."
"You've been saying that since Tara left." A slight flinch, but Dawn didn't care. Willow had hurt Tara, and Tara was the only person who never seemed to forget that Dawn existed.
"Because I'm fine."
"Fine enough to help me with my math homework?"
"Sure." Willow shoved her own books away, making room for Dawn to sit next to her on the bed.
Sitting in the center of the neatly folded blankets, Dawn crossed her legs. "I hate quadratic equations."
"Algebra can be handy."
"If you're riding a train and want to know when you'll crash into the train that left a station 100 miles away fifteen minutes before your train left."
Willow's mouth moved in a way that might have been a smile. Dawn counted it as a point for her side and opened her math book.
"The easiest way to solve a quadratic equation is by factoring…"
Dawn nodded and tried to concentrate on what Willow was saying. She was really smart and Dawn knew that Tara had liked that about her. She was powerful, too, which was cooler than being smart. Powerful enough to bring Buffy back from the dead. Dawn owed her for that.
Picking up a notebook and pencil, Willow began solving the first equation on the page. Dawn nodded and watched, tilting her head and leaning closer so she could follow Willow's work.
Willow always smelled good, a bunch of smells all jumbled together, like when Dawn opened the drawer where her mother had kept the spices. Willow's hands were big though. Not really big, just bigger than you'd expect from someone as skinny as Willow.
"Here, you try." Willow held out the pencil and Dawn took it, turning the notebook but leaving it on Willow's leg as she began to solve the equation.
Willow was watching her, nodding when Dawn got it right.
"Good," Willow said when Dawn finished. "Now, let's try the square root method."
Dawn silently handed the pencil back, her fingers brushing Willow's.
Those fingers had been inside Tara.
It was something Dawn tried not to think about. At least not when she was sitting right next to Willow on Willow's bed.
Buffy thought she didn't know about that stuff.
But she did.
Tara had had a book that Dawn had snuck peaks at when she was alone in the house, full of drawings and descriptions of all the things two women could do together. Dawn had pored over it until she'd had it practically memorized.
Spike had caught her with it once, but he hadn't said anything. He was cool that way.
At night she'd lie in bed and think about what she'd read, listening for sounds from Willow and Tara's room, wondering what they were doing, if they were touching or kissing.
Dawn had imagined it a lot, a tongue touching her there. Fingers inside her.
Hers inside someone else. Someone soft who smelled good.
Someone who smiled like Tara, pretty and gentle.
"You try," Willow said, startling her.
Dawn stared at her for a moment, until Willow frowned, then reached for the pencil. She copied the next problem and worked her way through it.
"Are you sure you need help?" Willow asked.
In truth, she didn't. She'd paid pretty close attention in class. "I just needed a little to get me started," she answered, daring to look up at Willow and smile.
She received a frown in return. "I'm fine," Willow insisted, eyes narrowing. Willow had always been kind of prickly, but now she was worse than ever, and any hint that she was being babysat or checked up on made her angry.
"I know," Dawn said hurriedly. "I just, you know."
Willow grabbed hold of her pencil and Dawn let it go. "Uh-huh."
"I miss her, too," Dawn said softly, knowing it was the wrong thing to say even as the words left her mouth.
"I'm sure you do." Willow's eyes were flashing, and Dawn resisted the impulse to back away. "You think I didn't know about your little crush? Didn't see the way you looked at her? Didn't know you were lying in your bed with your hand in your pants thinking about her?"
Shaking her head, Dawn tried to deny it. "No, it wasn't--"
"Wasn't what, Dawny?" Willow asked, leaning into her space, making it even harder for Dawn not to back away.
"It wasn't like that."
"How was it, then?"
Dawn still wanted to back away, but now she couldn't make herself move. That was the thing about Willow, her power could be mesmerizing, could hold you in place even if she wasn't trying to.
Like a snake.
"I… I thought about both of you."
"Did you?" Her voice was calmer.
Dawn nodded. "I wondered, what it was like, that's all. I just wondered."
Her expression softening into something Dawn couldn't read, Willow looked directly at her, not saying a word. It was making Dawn antsy.
Standing, she grabbed her algebra book. "I should probably go."
Willow's hand circled her wrist. "The conversation was just getting interesting."
Drawing in a breath, Dawn looked down at her. This was Willow, and, yeah okay, she was powerful, but she was also Willow. Dawn had loved her long before she'd been afraid of her. Willow would never hurt her. Willow had taken care of her when Buffy was gone.
They'd even cried together.
Willow let go of her wrist as soon as she said it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't…" Her gaze moved around the room like she was looking for some sort of escape hatch.
Wanting to escape was something Dawn totally got, just like she got not having anywhere to escape to. "It's okay." She put her hand on Willow's shoulder. "Really. It's okay."
Willow shook her head. "It's not okay. I'm all--" She waved her hand as if it could explain for her.
Lost, Dawn thought, angry, frustrated, hurting. Dawn understood all of those things, too. Which they would all know if they ever stopped to think about it, but they never did. "I know," she said, letting go of Willow's shoulder and moving her hand up to Willow's neck, touching soft skin with her fingertips.
Willow's eyes got really wide and Dawn was sure she was going to be kicked out, sent back to her room, told never to come to Willow's room again. But Willow didn't say a word and Dawn moved her hand higher, to Willow's cheek.
Willow was pretty, not as pretty as Tara, but pretty. Her skin was really smooth and Dawn wondered if Tara had touched her like this. She wasn't moving, just sitting there, completely still, letting Dawn touch her.
Heart pounding, barely able to breathe, Dawn moved her fingers to Willow's lips. They were thin, but soft like her skin had been.
Willow looked up at her. Their gazes locked, and Dawn kissed her.
It was nothing like she had imagined. For one thing she hadn't imagined being this scared, and for another she hadn't thought she'd be kissing Willow, not really, not like this.
But Willow's lips felt nice, better than any of the guys Dawn had kissed.
Willow slid her hand into Dawn's hair, kissing Dawn softly, like she was scared, too.
"We shouldn't," Willow said when they parted.
Buffy would kill them both if she ever found out, but that didn't stop the disappointment. She straightened, trying to turn away, but Willow stood, placing a hand on her waist to stop her from moving.
"I'm not rejecting you," Willow said softly. "You're beautiful, but you're also--"
Dawn didn't need to hear it. She knew how old she was. But she wasn't a kid. She couldn't tell Willow that though, because nothing made you look more like a kid than saying you weren't one. Instead, she kissed Willow again, harder this time, like she meant it.
Willow kissed her back.
This kiss wasn't anything like Dawn had imagined. Willow was kissing her like she owned Dawn's mouth. It was exciting, but also kind of crazy. What was even crazier was that she liked it, especially when Willow slid her arm around Dawn's waist and pulled her closer.
Being hugged had never felt like this. This wasn't about feeling better; this was about feeling good. Dawn wrapped her own arms around Willow's shoulders, wanting to keep her in place, keep her from changing her mind.
"Show me," Dawn whispered when Willow started to pull back. "Please."
Willow looked at her, lost, needing, wanting.
She wished she was more experienced, wished she knew what to do to convince Willow not to stop. "I won't tell. No one will ever know. I promise."
"No," Willow said, sliding a hand across Dawn's cheek and into her hair. "No one will ever know." Then she kissed Dawn again, lighter, teasing kisses, the kind Tara might give, except there was nothing gentle about them.
Taking hold of Dawn's shirt, Willow pulled it up. Dawn lifted her arms. This was going to happen. This was happening. She was having sex.
Her shirt landed on the floor at their feet and Willow slid her fingers along the edge of Dawn's bra, caressing the top of her breast. It was nice, but Dawn wanted more; she wanted Willow to touch her everywhere, do all the things to her that she'd done to Tara.
Willow rubbed a nipple with her thumb, making Dawn shudder even though she was still wearing her bra. "I'll make it good for you, Dawny. I promise."
She'd always hated that nickname, but it sounded better when she wasn't wearing a shirt. Reaching for the buttons on Willow's blouse, Dawn began undoing them, her fingers clumsy and annoying.
There was a cotton camisole underneath the blouse, and she cupped Willow's breast through it. It was small, not quite filling her hand, but the nipple was hard.
Willow kissed her again, neatly undoing Dawn's bra with one hand. She slid it from Dawn's shoulders, before removing her own shirt and the camisole. Dawn had seen other girls naked, but she'd never been able to look before. There they were, Willow's breasts.
Lifting a hand, Dawn brushed her fingers over a nipple. It got harder as she touched it, which was cool--mostly. At least the part of her that wasn't freaking thought so.
Willow copied the caress, cupping Dawn's breast in her hand and rubbing with her thumb. It felt better than just about anything Dawn could remember feeling. Then Willow bent down and Dawn clutched at her shoulders as Willow sucked on her nipple, lightly at first, then harder. The pleasure was everywhere, which Dawn would've considered weird, if she'd cared, but she didn't.
When Willow took hold of her arms and guided her back toward the bed, Dawn went.
When she reached for the snap on Dawn's jeans, Dawn lay back on the bed and lifted her hips.
When Willow slid on to the bed next to her, pushing her books to the floor, completely naked, Dawn opened her arms.
One of the things Dawn had always liked about Willow was that she kept her promises--usually. She smoothed her hands over Dawn's skin, following her touches with simple kisses to Dawn's neck, her breasts, the insides of her arms, which had definitely not been in the book, because Dawn would have remembered.
She kissed Dawn sweetly and combed her fingers through the hair between Dawn's legs, and Dawn couldn't help it, she had to spread her legs. Willow's fingers slipped into the space where no one else's fingers had ever been.
Dawn made a noise she didn't recognize. It might've been a moan.
"Okay?" Willow asked, her lips against Dawn's cheek.
"Yes." Dawn nodded. "Fine. Please don't stop."
"I won't," Willow said, her voice soft and really dirty. Oh, wow, someone was talking to her in a dirty voice, but then Willow started moving her fingers and Dawn forgot all about the voice.
Until Willow whispered, "So sweet. Sweet, beautiful Dawny." Willow kissed the side of her neck, mouth gliding up to a place just under her ear and sucking. It was another thing the book should have mentioned, because it made Dawn lift her hips, pushing herself into Willow's circling fingers.
"You're so wet." More dirty words. Oh, God, Dawn was someone who liked dirty words. "Will you taste sweet?"
"I don't know."
"You've never tasted yourself?"
When Willow asked a question it was almost impossible not to answer. Flushing, Dawn nodded.
Willow smiled at her. "And was it sweet?"
Dawn swallowed. "Yes."
Lifting her hand, Willow raised it Dawn's lips. Dawn opened her mouth, let Willow push them inside, her own familiar flavor coating her tongue. She started to suck because it seemed like the thing to do.
Sliding her fingers back, then in again, Willow removed them entirely. She moved, stretching out over Dawn before sliding between her legs.
Willow's face was so close…
"Maybe I should find out for myself." Willow smiled at her, playful and sexy.
The tip of Willow's tongue touched her, firm and soft at the same time.
Dawn clutched at the sheets, holding on for dear life as Willow caressed her, soft and rough, strong and gentle. The pleasure just kept building, tightening, concentrating itself in that one small place until Willow touched it just right and the pleasure went everywhere, shaking her, making her cry out.
Willow kissed the inside of her thigh when it was over, then her stomach, then her lips. Willow tasted like Dawn's fingers after she'd touched herself.
She'd just had sex. Real sex. With another person.
She wrapped her arms around Willow, pressed her face into Willow's shoulder and just held on.
"Hey, you okay?" Willow asked softly.
Dawn nodded. "It's just--"
"Can I do you?" Dawn asked.
A soft laugh in her ear. "You can do whatever you want."
Wearing her comfiest pajamas, Dawn pulled back the sheets and climbed into bed, smiling to herself as she turned onto her side. She was going to have sweet dreams tonight, she was sure of it.
Dawn rolled over, trying to hide her face from the sunlight. She hated mornings.
"Dawn." Buffy was yelling from downstairs. Couldn't she just come up the stairs? It wasn't like she didn't know how to climb.
"Daaawwwnnnn." Buffy was the only person in the world who could give her name three syllables.
She threw the covers aside. "I'm up. You can stop yelling," she yelled back.
Standing, she caught sight of a small flower on her nightstand. It was dried, but when she picked it up, it still smelled nice. Tucking it behind her ear, she went to brush her teeth.