What Comes After

Running was the only form of meditation John understood. The steady beating of his feet, the mindlessness that came from a pounding heart and grasping lungs, exertion silencing thought.

Except today. No matter how hard he ran, his thoughts refused to be silenced.

He'd had sex with McKay. Rodney. Good sex. Really good sex. They'd even lain together afterwards until John had whispered that he had to go, and Rodney had nodded his understanding.

Last night the quiet had been nice, but now he found himself wishing one of them had said something. Because they'd had sex and John had no idea what it meant.

Or if it meant anything at all.

***

Rodney was eating breakfast with Elizabeth when John arrived in the mess. She smiled at him as he sat next to Rodney, getting only a nod of welcome from McKay who was chewing.

"Good morning, John," Elizabeth said.

"Morning."

"We were just talking about the mission to MV5-832."

John nodded and shoved his fork into his scrambled eggs. They had a vaguely bluish tint and were clearly not from a chicken but eggs were eggs.

"Speculating," Rodney said. "We were speculating. Because we won't know anything about the outpost until we actually look at it."

"Speculating. I stand corrected." There was amusement in her voice and John wondered if she'd been playing 'tease the McKay' again. Not that he could blame her. It was a fun game. Putting down his fork, he reached for his milk which had actually come from a cow. He'd bypassed the OJ this morning, because, well, Rodney.

Rodney watched him pick up the glass and take a drink. Then he smiled in a way that looked almost goofy. It caught John off-guard, because Rodney didn't have a goofy smile. His smiles tended to be radiant, the kind that lit up a whole room, not that John would ever, ever admit that to anyone. Ever.

Beneath the table, Rodney's fingers brushed his.

John clasped them for a moment, squeezing before letting go. "Think they built weapons there?" John asked.

"What did I just say about speculating?"

"Come on, Rodney. It's not like the Ancients weren't at war."

Rodney sighed and shook his head, but his fingers brushed John's palm.

John smiled.