Counting II

Courage was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Courage made you do stupid things like step in front of men with guns and walk into life-sucking clouds.

And kiss people you shouldn't kiss.

Then there was the lying awake thinking about the courageous kissing and how the person who'd been kissed would probably react.

Courage was definitely stupid, and Rodney was stupid for being courageous.

The door to the mess slid open. Rodney stepped inside and faltered for a moment before turning his attention firmly in the direction of the coffee and away from the cause of his unwanted courage.

And John Sheppard, damn him, had looked up at him and smiled as if Rodney hadn't kissed him 10 hours and 41 minutes earlier.

Picking up his coffee, Rodney decided the powerbar in his desk drawer would make a perfectly fine breakfast.

***

"Hey, Rodney, want to get some lunch," John asked, leaning his hip against the side of the door way, keeping the door open, which was a complete waste of energy.

Okay, maybe not that much energy, but it was the principle of the thing.

He couldn't avoid John forever, and since John seemed didn't seem bothered by Rodney's act of selfless courage, Rodney figured he might as well go to lunch with him and get it over with.

"Fine," he said, saving his work.

They were about half-way to the mess when John said, "So how's the day going? Count anything interesting?"

"You're the one who counts things, Colonel, not me," Rodney answered. He'd been waiting for the teasing to commence, but now that it had he was a little disappointed.

"So I am," John said with so much warmth in his voice that Rodney stopped walking.

He let John get almost three paces ahead of him, before increasing his speed to catch up.

***

Lunch with Teyla and Ronon was perfectly normal, as was dinner with Radek and Keller. Except more than once Rodney had caught John smiling at him in a way that was downright disconcerting. It wasn't teasing. Most of John's smiles were teasing and Rodney had gotten good at identifying those early on. It wasn't encouraging, although those were pretty rare. Usually John's idea of encouragement was to tell Rodney they were all going to die. It didn't invite Rodney to share the joke.

It was a John Sheppard smile that Rodney had never seen before.

And he kept finding himself smiling back even though he had no idea why.

***

He was still pondering the smile at 2000 when his door chimed. Setting aside his laptop, Rodney went to answer the door.

John was on the other side, wearing that smile.

Rodney took a step back and John stepped inside. Before Rodney could say anything, John cupped Rodney's face in his hands and kissed him, as easy as could be, sweet and kind of sensual, and normal, like they kissed everyday.

"Now we can start over at one," John said, still wearing the baffling smile.

Then he turned around and left. Rodney stared at his door, the corners of his mouth stretching slowly into a smile.