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Title: Code

Author: chelle

Author's email:

Author's URL:

Fandom: Atlantis

Archive: Ask first

Pairing: John/Rodney

Rating: R

AN: Observations about John's cologne and meterosexuality are courtesy of Carolyn Claire. The impetus for the fic came from Rivier pointing out that John checks out Rodney's new shirt in "Runner." Would have remained forever on my hard drive if not for Grrrl.

"Since when do you not like the way I smell?" John asked, leaning against the door to Rodney's quarters.

Rodney glanced up from the physics journal in his lap. The one he hadn't had time to finish while they were on Earth. "You wouldn't believe half the stuff these morons are writing. I can't wait until they declassify the Stargate program. Do you have any idea how much fun it's going to be proving to these idiots that they are wrong, wrong, wrong?"

"Aqua Velva?"


"You accused me of wearing Aqua Velva."

"Oh, please, did you want me to mention your cupboard full of designer colognes? Or the fact that you made me go shopping for more while we were on Earth, Mr. Meterosexual?"

"I am not a meterosexual. I just like to look good, and it isn't a cupboard." John left the door and perched on the edge of Rodney's bed.

"You need to stop checking me out, if we're going to hide this thing," Rodney said, half of his attention back on his journal of idiocy.

"I was not checking you out. You were late. I expressed my displeasure."

"Uh-huh, while your eyes went up my chest."

"I was merely looking over the new shirt."

"You were checking out my nipples."

"I was not," John protested.

"Yes you were."

"No, I wasn't."

"Were too. You could at least try to get over the nipple fetish."

John slid his hand up under Rodney's shirt. "What would be the fun in that?"

John's fondling of his nipples was making it harder for Rodney to concentrate, and after reading the same paragraph three times, he put the journal aside. "So you were captured and tied up by the big ole warrior hunk."

"Hmm," John said absently, pressing a kiss to the side of Rodney's neck.


"And what?"

"What happened?"

"You were at the debriefing. You know what happened." John resumed kissing and Rodney tilted his head to give him better access.

"There's always something you leave out of briefings."

"Teyla fondled my ass."

Rodney sat up straight, pulling his neck out of John's reach. "What?"

"We were tied together. She was trying to get her hands free."

"And that involved fondling your ass."

John grinned. "We were tied very tightly together." Rodney's eyes narrowed and John added, "It was kind of nice, being felt up by someone new."

"Bored already are you?"

John shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe a little, but I'm sure you'll find a way to keep my interest."

Rodney snorted.

Pushing up Rodney's shirt, John said, "You could always keep finding newer, tighter shirts."

"Nipple thing," Rodney said, making it both a warning and an accusation.

"Stomach thing," John countered, and blew a raspberry into the middle of his stomach.

Rodney used his shirt to wipe away the saliva, while John leaned across his hips and grinned at him. When Rodney was done, John promptly pushed his shirt up and licked a broad stripe across his abdomen. "Hey!" Rodney protested, tugging his shirt free of John's hands and back down.

John ignored his protest, shifting so that he had one knee on either side of Rodney's hips. "You make your own sunscreen," he said casually, leaning down for a kiss, which Rodney halted with a hand in the center of his chest.

"Do you have any idea how much radiation we've absorbed, just in the last six months?"

"Um, a lot?"

"By my calculations…"

John covered Rodney's mouth with his hand. "It's in the past, Rodney. We can't change it. Just promise me you'll warn me before my dick starts to glow in the dark."

"It glows now," Rodney said, his voice muffled by John's hand.

"It does not." In spite of his protest, John looked down at his dick, as though the glow would show through his uniform pants.

"Made you look."

Shooting him a mock glare, John said, "That is so childish."

Rodney nipped at his palm and John pulled his hand back. "You're a bad influence. I was a complete grown-up before I met you."

"No, I am a very good influence."

Countering John with a shake of his head, Rodney said, "No, you're a bad influence. A very bad influence. I did the calculations."

"Did you?" John leaned into him.


"And did you factor in how good I am at blow jobs?"


John stroked the side of Rodney's neck with his fingers. "And fingering you until you're ready to explode."

Rodney nodded. "Added that in, too."

"And the fucking?"

"Of course."

"What about this?" John asked, kissing him.

Rodney considered breaking the kiss to inform him that his kisses had been the deciding factor in determining John's status as a bad influence. Then thought better of it, sliding his hands up John's back instead.

"I had some really dirty thoughts about you," John said, pulling back from their kiss.

Rodney slid his hands around to John's front, toying casually with John's chest hair. "Did you?"

John nodded. "Um-hm. When I found you hanging from the tree the first thing I thought was, 'that's a really cool position for a blowjob.'"

Rodney frowned as John grinned. "I can't decide if that's flattering or disturbing."

"Flattering," John said, kissing him quickly.

"Right, because life-threatening situation, and you immediately think of my dick."


Rodney knew he should try to be irritated or at least annoyed, but that was difficult with John's ass brushing against his cock. "I'm sleeping with a pervert."

"Which is much more fun than sleeping with someone who isn't a pervert," John pointed out.

"I'm pretty much up for either one, to be honest."


"Not quite, but I have aspirations."

John chuckled. "Does that mean I can hang you from a tree again?"


"Please?" John batted his eyelashes playfully.

"You wear mascara too, don't you?"

"I am rather fond of cylindrical objects."

"Okay, now that is just wrong," Rodney said, but then John slid back and cupped Rodney's dick through his pants.

"Is it?"

"Maybe not," Rodney admitted. John grinned and Rodney added, "So these cylindrical objects you're so fond of, they don't need to be narrow do they?"

John tilted his head to the side, appearing to think for a moment. Then he held up his hand, making a circle with his thumb and forefinger. "About this wide is good."

"So about eight centimeters?"

"Roughly. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find something that size would you?"

"I might."

John grinned. "Cool."

"You're weird and you have funny hair," Rodney said. It was code for "I love you," which John understood because he had a Captain Subtext decoder ring, too. "And you are too a meterosexual."

John squeezed his cock. "Lucky for you."

"Very lucky for me," Rodney agreed as John lowered his zipper.


"Horizontal blowjobs aren't so bad," John said, stretching and then settling into Rodney's side.

Rodney slid an arm around his shoulders. "No, no they're not."

"I still think the upside down thing could be fun."

Rodney made a distracted sound that might have been agreement, but wasn't. His lover was a pervert and a meterosexual, but Rodney liked him that way.

More or less.

Which was code for ahelluvalot.