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Bragging Rights


Title: Bragging Rights

Author: chelle

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Fandom: Atlantis

Archive: Ask first

Rating: G

AN: Self-indulgent, "Condemned" inspired silliness.

"If you were Canadian we could get married."

"I wish you wouldn't try and talk while brushing your teeth," John said, looking up from his book at where Rodney was standing in the bathroom door in his blue plaid boxers.

Rodney lowered his toothbrush. "I said, 'if you were Canadian we could get married.'"

That's what John had thought he'd said, but before John could answer Rodney went back into the bathroom, and John heard the sound of spitting followed by running water. At least he'd finally convinced Rodney to floss in the bathroom, rather than standing by the side of the bed, trying to talk with his fingers in his mouth and getting bits of plaque on John. He still hadn't won the toothbrush battle, but at least Rodney closed the door when he pissed. John was of the opinion that if you were watching each other urinate the romance was dead.

Rodney climbed into his side of the small bed and pressed himself against John's side. John put away his book and turned out the light. Rodney put an arm across his waist as John settled into the mattress. Rodney didn't say a word, and his breathing began to deepen.

"Is that what you want?" John asked.

"Is what what I want?"


"Never thought about it," Rodney said, ending the sentence with his 'going to sleep now' grunt.

"You just brought it up."

"I was just continuing our conversation."

John was well aware that Rodney considered himself brilliant. Most of the time, John considered him brilliant, too. Then there were moments like this one. "What conversation?"

"The one from the planet, about why Canada is more enlightened than the United States." Rodney spoke half into John's shoulder and half into the pillow.

"So you're arguing that Canada is more enlightened because you don't have the death penalty and you allow gay marriage."


If Rodney wanted an argument John was usually happy to oblige, but he couldn't really argue with that one. Placing a hand on top of Rodney's arm, he started to drift.

"Is that what you want?" Rodney asked.

It took John a moment to remember what they were talking about. "Marriage? I've never really thought about it."

"That's what I thought." Rodney sounded sleepy, but John knew him well enough to know that it was his fake sleepiness. The sleepiness he used when he wanted to convince John that he wasn't going to hop out of bed as soon as John fell asleep and go back to his lab.

John thought about it. Marriage. Till death to us part. As long as we both shall live. That was a lot of commitment.

Commitment wasn't generally a problem for him. After all he'd been committed to the Air Force for most of his life.

But Rodney. A lifetime with Rodney. Irritating, whiny, frequently clueless, always smug Rodney.

"Would you propose or would I?" John asked.

"Does it matter?"


"Why?" Rodney asked all trace of fake sleepiness gone.

"Because we'll bicker about it for years."

"Why would we do that?"

"Because if you proposed to me, you'd brag about how you were the one with the guts to propose, and if I proposed to you, you'd brag about how I wanted you enough to propose."

"We could flip a coin."

"That'd work."

Rodney kissed his shoulder by way of agreement.

Glad that was settled, John closed his eyes. He was almost asleep when Rodney whispered, "I'd be bragging because I got you."

John shifted onto his side, slid an arm around Rodney's waist, and went to sleep.