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The John Sheppard Bad Safe Sex Story


Title: The John Sheppard Bad Safe Sex Story

Author: chelle

Author's email:

Author's URL:

Fandom: Atlantis

Archive: Ask first

Pairings: John/Rodney, Norina/Rodney

Rating: NC 17

AN: Written for the Safe Sex Fication and Challenge on LJ.

Rodney resisted the urge to pinch himself. If a beautiful woman wasn't really straddling his hips, naked, gloriously naked, with her hand on his cock, he didn't want to know.

He rubbed her nipples with this thumbs, loving the feel of her breasts in his hands.

Norina gasped and began to lower herself, holding his cock firmly at the base. She was going to be warm and wet. "Wait, wait, we need…"

She stopped moving. "What's wrong?"

"I need to get…" He patted her thigh and she moved off of him. Rolling to his side, he looked down at the floor, searching for his pants. Finding them, he reached into the back pocket and pulled out a foil packet. "Got it."

Rolling onto his back, he tore open the packet and unrolled the condom over his cock. He smiled up at Norina. "Ready now."

Reaching out, she touched his cock. "What is this?"

"It's a condom. It prevents pregnancy."

"We have contraceptives, as well. There is no need for this." She tugged at the condom.

Rodney smoothed the condom back into place. "It also protects against disease."


"On Earth we have a number of diseases that can be transmitted during sex. The condom prevents that."

Norina crossed her arms beneath her beautiful breasts, lifting them in a way that made Rodney's cock twitch. "You have one of these diseases?"

"No, no, of course not."

"So you are afraid I might have one."

"No…" Sitting up, Rodney stroked her arm. "It's just a precaution."

"You think I am diseased."

Seeing his chance at sex slipping away, Rodney tried again. "No, no, of course not. You're beautiful."

But she was backing off the bed, searching for her clothes.

"Norina," he tried again. She ignored him, continuing to dress.

"Good-night, Rodney."

Dropping back on the bed, he muttered, "That’s just great." His cock was still standing straight up. "Oh, give it up," he told it, removing the condom and dropping it on the floor.


Rodney dropped into the chair next to Sheppard's without so much as a "good morning" and promptly began cutting his omelet. "Plain omelets, again," he said looking disdainfully at the piece on the end of his fork. "Would it kill them to chop up some ham, maybe grate some cheese?"

Sheppard glanced at Lorne who was seated across from him. "You like plain omelets," he said to Rodney.

"Not every god-damned morning."

"Date not go well?"

Rodney wasn't about to answer that. His private life was none of Sheppard's business. "Ever wonder what life was like before safe sex?"

"Syphilitic," Lorne said.

Sheppard laughed. Rodney gave Lorne a hard look.

Lorne shrugged. "There was more syphilis."

"Yes, thank you, I got that."

With a look at Sheppard, Lorne rose. "See you later, sir, Dr. McKay."

Rodney waved his fork at him.

"Bad condom experience, huh?" Sheppard asked quietly, the sympathy in his tone outweighing the amusement.

Rodney simply looked at him for a moment and then turned back to his eggs. He was pretty sure he was alone with this particular humiliation, and he wasn't about to share it.

Patting his shoulder, Sheppard said, "We've all had bad safe sex experiences."

While Rodney could believe lots of people had had bad safe sex experiences, he wasn't quite able to make the leap to Sheppard having been one of those people. "You?"

"Yes, me. As much as I like this idea you seem to have that I'm some sort of sex god, I have, in fact, had my share of embarrassing and awkward moments."

"Such as?"

"I'm not going to give you details in the mess hall."

Because there weren't any details. Sheppard was just trying to make him feel better, which was kind of nice, actually.

"Come by later and I'll tell you the John Sheppard Bad Safe Sex Story, okay?"

Rodney still doubted there was a story, but if Sheppard was willing to make one up for him, Rodney wasn't about to miss it. "Okay."

With a final pat of Rodney's shoulder, John stood.

Watching him walk away, Rodney wondered what kind of bad sex story Sheppard could possibly have.

He continued to wonder throughout the day, creating and dismissing scenarios involving broken condoms, latex allergies, packages that refused to open, even condoms that were too small, although he didn't consider that one an actual possibility.

Surprisingly, the idea of Sheppard having a bad sexual experience didn't fill him with glee and Rodney even considered not going to Sheppard's after dinner, for all of three minutes. Regardless of how he might feel about an embarrassed or humiliated Sheppard, he was still curious.

He knocked and Sheppard's door slid open. Sheppard was on the other side. "Hey, Rodney, come in."

Stepping inside, he looked around. He'd been in Sheppard's quarters before, but never for very long. Sheppard was weird about his privacy.

"Want a drink? I have that stuff we traded for on PF7-275."

"The stuff that tastes like licorice?" Rodney had never liked licorice.

John nodded.

"Sure," Rodney said. He was surprised Sheppard had alcohol in his quarters. In the entire time he'd known him, he'd never seen Sheppard consume more than half a glass of beer and then only in the course of a mission. Not that Rodney drank much himself, too much could go wrong and he needed his wits about him when it did.

Sheppard handed him a glass and Rodney took a small sip, making a face. "So, this story."

"It was a long time ago." Sheppard's eyes slid from Rodney to the wall behind him. "There was someone I really wanted to impress. You know, show how skilled I was." He took a long swallow from his drink. His next words came out more rapidly than anything Rodney had ever heard Sheppard say. "I was trying to put the condom on with my mouth and I accidentally bit him."

The liquid in Rodney's mouth landed on Sheppard's shirt. "You give blowjobs?" Rodney didn't even try to hide his shock.

"Is that a problem?" The tone was as defiant as the words were vulnerable.

"No, no, of course it's not a problem." Rodney waved his free hand in a wide circle. "But you could have said something. We've been friends for two years."

"You still call me Sheppard."

Rodney had no idea what that had to do with the fact that Sheppard gave blowjobs. "And you call me McKay."

"Only sometimes." Sheppard was smiling now, just a little, and it occurred to Rodney that telling him had probably been a big deal for John.

John. If Sheppard could tell Rodney he sucked cock, then Rodney could call him John. "Okay, John."

His smile broadened still more and that was definitely relief. "So what happened with Norina?" Sheppard--John--asked.

"I was trying to explain why we should use a condom and I managed to convince her that I thought she was diseased."

John laughed.

"It's not funny."

John's laughter faded into a grin.

"At least I never bit anyone," Rodney said with more resentment than he actually felt.

"It did pretty much kill the mood," John said. He tugged at his shirt, darkened with Rodney's drink.

"Sorry about that," Rodney said gesturing at John's shirt.

"It'll wash, but I think I'll get out of it."

Rodney nodded, watching John walk across the room and open his closet, taking out a clean shirt before pulling the damp one off and dropping it into a basket on the floor. He had a long, graceful back, and Rodney wished, not for the first time, that he had a body like John's. Black t-shirt hanging loose around his waist, John turned toward him.

He gives blowjobs, Rodney thought. He puts his mouth on other men's cocks and sucks them off. Rodney wondered what that would look like, John's mouth and a cock.

"Do you like it?" Rodney asked.

John stopped in front of him. "What?"

"Blowjobs. Giving them, I mean." It was pretty much a given that John liked getting them. He was a guy. Rodney had heard rumors of guys who didn't like blowjobs, but he was pretty sure they were a myth.

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it."

"So you still…"

"Not often. Not at all since coming to Atlantis."

"You're pretty much sticking to women, then?" Rodney asked, still turning things over in his mind.

John shrugged. "Not much of a choice."

"Do you like men better?" John's expression shifted into something unreadable, and Rodney quickly added, "Never mind. I shouldn't have asked."

John sat on the end of the bed, and Rodney sat next to him. "Yeah, I like men better," John said after a long moment.

"That sucks," Rodney said, holding out his glass for John to take. He had no idea where John's drink had gone. "Not that you like men, but that you can't…"

John took a long drink from Rodney's glass. "It's not that I don't like women. I do. I just like the way men feel, the way they smell."

"I've never had sex with a man."

"I guessed that."

"Of course now I'm going to wonder about it, thanks to you."

John flashed him a grin. "Sorry."

"No, you're not."

Polishing off the rest of Rodney's drink, John rose and went to the desk. "Want more?" he asked picking up the bottle.

Rodney shook his head.

Filling Rodney's glass, John brought it back to the bed with him. John drank about half of the glass in silence while Rodney considered this new information. The odd thing was that it didn't feel odd. Although Rodney was curious, but then there wasn't any aspect of sex Rodney wasn't curious about, except maybe water sports, and the DSM parts of BDSM. Rodney had no interest in pain. "Why do you like giving blowjobs? It never looked like all that much fun. Not that getting them isn't fun, but--"

"Do you like going down on women?" John asked, cutting him off.



Rodney thought about that for a moment. "I like giving my partner pleasure. I like the taste, and figuring things out, finding all the relevant bits and determining what she likes."

John stared at him. "You like the <i>science</i> of it?"

"What's wrong with that? Plus, it's sex."

John shook his head. "Only you."

Nudging John with his elbow, Rodney said, "I spilled. Now it's your turn."

Instead of answering John took another drink. "I can't believe I'm telling you this."

Rodney took the glass from him. "You haven't yet."

"I like the taste, and the feel of the shaft on my lips and tongue. It's smooth and solid. Good. And I like getting my partner off."

"Okay." Rodney took a sip of John's drink and handed it back. "So a penis really feels good in your mouth?"

"It does in mine."

"Maybe I should try it."

John turned his entire head in Rodney's direction and Rodney could feel John's eyes boring into the side of his face.

"What?" he asked staring back.

"You want to try it," John said.

"It was just a thought, but, yeah, why shouldn't I?"

"Why shouldn't you?" John repeated.

"You could coach me."

"Coach you? And just whose cock were you planning on sucking?"

Rodney looked straight into John's eyes. "Yours would be the obvious choice."

"Mine." John's tone was oddly flat.

Maybe John didn't want Rodney to suck his cock. Rodney could live with that. He hunched his shoulders. "You don't have to."

John placed his hand on Rodney's bare forearm. "Are you sure? Really, really sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," Rodney said even though he wasn't.

"Okay," John said quietly.

"Okay?" Rodney felt his stomach lurch a little. He wasn't sure if it was anticipation or fear. "Right, okay." He looked down at John's hand where it rested on his arm, John's darker skin making his look pale by comparison.

"I have condoms," John said, not looking at him.

"Me, too. Back in my quarters." Rodney paused. "You don't expect me to put it on with my mouth, do you?"


That was a relief. Rodney figured if John could accidentally bite someone odds were good he would too.

Standing, the warmth of his hand lingering on Rodney's arm, John walked around the side of the bed to his nightstand and opened the drawer. He came back with two condoms, handing one to Rodney, then simply standing there, in front of Rodney.

"Shouldn't you unzip or something?" Rodney asked, his eyes gravitating toward the area in question.

"I'm not hard."

Rodney raised his eyes to John's face. "I could, um, suck you for a little bit first then put the condom on."

"Or you could kiss me."

Or he could kiss him. "Right, sure." Rodney stood. "I can do that." He moved closer to John. The last time he'd kissed someone taller than him had been in the seventh grade when he'd kissed Marcia Cantwell during a slow song and gotten thrown out of the dance. Tilting his head to the side, he leaned toward John. John leaned too and their lips bumped.

Rodney leaned back. He was pretty sure that had been more like bumper cars than a kiss.

"Here," John said. Cupping Rodney's face in his hands, he brought their lips together. No bumping this time, John's lips brushed his, a tiny caress of a kiss. Then they came back, lingering. The third time Rodney was ready, parting his lips just enough to capture John's upper lip. He pressed lightly, feeling John tug just as lightly on his lower lip. After that it was shockingly easy, lips moving hungrily from one kiss to the next, John's hands still cupping his head, his thumbs brushing Rodney's cheeks while Rodney's own hands clutched at John's waist.

Drawing back, Rodney rested his forehead on John's shoulder.

"You okay?" John whispered, rubbing the space between Rodney's shoulders with one hand.

"I'm fine. You know, for a guy who just discovered that kissing his best friend makes him hard."

"I'm hard too."

"Good thing, since getting you hard was the whole point."

"It was, wasn't it?" John sounded so pleased with himself that Rodney had to look at him.

Pleased was a really good look for John. "Open your pants," Rodney said to distract himself from John's pleased look.

"Impatient, are we?"

Rodney just wanted control of the situation again. "Yes."

Unzipping his pants, John pushed both his pants and boxers down around his calves and then sat on the edge of the bed. There it was, John's cock, the thing Rodney was going to take into his mouth and suck until John had an orgasm.

Pulling in a breath, he knelt in front of John. He'd been right; it wasn't too big for a condom. Which he needed to put on, except he'd somehow managed to drop it while they were kissing. Spotting it on the ground, he picked it up and tore open the package. It wasn't lubed, fortunately. Of course if John liked giving blowjobs he wouldn't buy lubed condoms. With a quick glance at John, he placed the condom over the head of John's cock and squeezed the tip.


Still holding the condom in place, Rodney looked up at John.

"It's better if you get the other person worked up at little first."

Rodney looked pointedly at John's erect cock. "I thought you were."

"Yeah, but I could be more worked up."

More worked up. Rodney could do that. He handed the condom to John. "Hold this." Curling his hand around the base of John's cock, he asked, "Now what do I do?"

John didn't say anything for a moment. He was looking down at Rodney with an expression Rodney couldn't quite read, but he was pretty sure it was a good one. "Lick the head."

Rodney should've thought of that. Reaching out with his tongue, he leaned down until he brushed the head of John's cock. It tasted like skin--indefinable with a hint of salt. The taste wasn't bad so Rodney did it again. Then he ran his tongue along the slit before looking up at John.

"Did you like it?" John asked.

"That's what I was going to ask you."

"I asked first."

"You're so childish," Rodney said. "I didn't dislike it."

"But you didn't like it?"

"It was licking, and I only did it for a minute."

"Maybe you should do it more then, as long as you didn't dislike it," John said, somehow managing to sound vaguely disappointed and a little hopeful at the same time.

"I can do that." This time Rodney swirled his tongue around the head instead of just licking across it. It felt kind of nice against his tongue, smooth and firm. Ducking his head, Rodney opened his hand, the back of John's shaft against his open palm, and licked his way from the base to the head. He traced the ridge with his tongue, which forced him to rise up on his knees, and then closed his mouth over the head, sucking lightly.

"Don't suck for too long," John said softly. "It's good to mix it up at first, sucking a little, licking a little, stroking with your hand."

Rodney let go, even though it felt kind of good in his mouth, and stroked John's cock with his hand. John's skin brushed his palm as Rodney stroked, and the feeling was more pleasurable than Rodney had expected.

John's cock was interesting to look at. It didn't curve like Rodney's did, and the head was kind of neat, almost perfectly round where Rodney's sloped a little. It looked vulnerable, and inviting, even though it was standing there all proud and firm. Drawn downward, he pressed his lips to the head.

Twisting to the side, he trailed his mouth along the side of John's shaft, tasting and feeling. When he reached the base, he licked his way back up to the tip. This time there was a tiny dot of moisture on the slit and he tasted it immediately, stroking again with his hand.

"Oh yeah, Rodney, that's it."

Looking up at John, he opened his lips drawing in the head and sucking lightly. John was staring down at him, clearly aroused, and Rodney sucked.

John moaned and Rodney decided that he could understand why John liked doing this, at least a little.

Letting his eyes close, he slid his mouth downward.

The rhythm came easily. Keeping his teeth from scraping John's shaft was a little harder, but the sucking was fun, especially when John rested his hand lightly on the back of Rodney's neck, not pressuring or even guiding him, just resting.

His cheeks began to tire faster than Rodney would have expected, but he kept going. He was going to get John worked up no matter what it took.

"Rodney. Condom."

Lifting his lips from John's cock, he looked up. John leaned down and kissed him, deep and dirty. It made Rodney's cock throb a little.

John handed him the condom and Rodney positioned it on the top of John's cock and then began to unroll it, leaving John's cock encased in see-through yellow latex. He covered John's cock with his mouth, intending to pick up where he'd left off. Then he let go. "It tastes like banana."

"Beats unflavored latex, believe me."

"You have banana flavored condoms," Rodney said, because it bore repeating.

"Would you prefer cherry?"

"I thought you said you liked the taste."

"I do. That's why we did stuff before putting on the condom."

Rodney didn't point out that John hadn't really done anything. "Ah," he said with a small nod. Banana, John had a truly warped sense of humor which Rodney was never going to admit he liked.

He resumed sucking, quickly settling back into the rhythm.

"Use your hand."

Pleased at the pleasure he could hear in John's voice, Rodney curled his hand around the base of John's cock and began moving it in time with his mouth. John was getting into it, getting worked up, Rodney could tell from the noises he was making and the small motions of his hips, lifting his cock a bare three centimeters in time with Rodney's sucking.

"Yeah, Rodney, just like that."

It was a tone Rodney had never heard before, a little hoarse and filled with lust. Hearing it made Rodney suck harder, he wanted to pleasure John, to make John feel good. It wasn't all that different from the way he normally felt about John so Rodney went with it, sucking happily, making all kinds of slurping sounds, and ignoring the fact that the banana flavor reminded him of taffy lollipops he'd eaten as a kid.

John began pressing on the back of his neck, urging him to go faster. Rodney did and a few minutes later John groaned low and deep. Rodney felt John's cock pulse through the condom, but his fluid remained trapped in the condom. Letting go, Rodney licked at his lips, disappointed at the lingering banana flavor where the taste of John should be.

Then John smiled at him, looking like a man who'd just had good sex and Rodney's disappointment began to fade.

"Was it good?" Rodney asked.

"Yes." John kissed him, slow and teasing this time. "It was good." Another kiss. "You should get undressed so I can return the favor."

Rodney was almost painfully hard and the thought of John's mouth on him, John's skilled mouth, made him even harder. Standing, he began undoing his pants. John removed the condom and dropped it into the garbage can next to the desk, returning to stand in front of Rodney.

"Take it all off," John said, sliding a hand under Rodney's t-shirt to rest on his side. Pushing his pants to the floor, Rodney pulled his shirt over his head. Stepping on his pants with one foot, he tried to pull the other free, but he couldn't quite get the pants over his shoe.

"Here, sit," John said, taking hold of Rodney's shoulders and guiding him to the edge of the bed. Rodney sat and John knelt, pushing up Rodney's pants enough that he could untie Rodney's shoes and tug them off. Then he removed Rodney's pants and boxers, and finally Rodney's socks, leaving him completely naked. He was completely naked in front of John.

"You should get undressed, too," Rodney said because it was either that or cover himself with his hands.

A quick grin and John pulled his shirt over his head. Then he stepped out of his pants, using the same technique that had gotten Rodney tangled up.

"Lie down."

Rodney did as he was told, scooting back until he was in the center of John's bed. Just last night he'd been about to have sex with Norina, now he was in John's bed, naked. He'd given John a blowjob and John was straddling his hips, and Rodney's world made no sense. No sense at all.

Then John stretched out over him on his hands, holding his body above Rodney's as he kissed the side of Rodney's neck and Rodney stopped caring if his world made sense or not.

John was as skilled with his mouth as Rodney had thought he'd be, and by the time John unrolled the condom Rodney was as worked up as he could ever remember being.



"Mmmm?" As soon as John had lain down next to him, Rodney had rolled over, stretched both an arm and a leg out across John's body and closed his eyes.

"Are you sleeping?"

"Not yet."

John's arm was around Rodney's shoulders and he was moving his fingers back and forth in a way that was vaguely ticklish. Rodney jerked his shoulder and John stopped. "So…" John said.

Rodney frowned. John was a guy, shouldn't he be going to sleep? Instead he was acting like… oh. Rodney lifted himself up on to an elbow. "I liked it. I liked it a lot."

"Yeah?" The corner of John's mouth crooked up into an almost smile. "Enough to do it again?"

Rodney looked at his watch. "How's an hour sound?"

"Make it forty minutes."

"Works for me," Rodney said and kissed him. Although given how well John kissed, he might be able to make it thirty. Sliding his hand from John's waist down to his hip, Rodney pinched.

"Hey!" John pushed Rodney's hand away and rubbed at the spot Rodney had pinched. "What was that for?"

"Just checking."

John looked at him for a moment, eyebrows going all wavy, then he smiled, kissed Rodney, and whispered, "We really did it."

"And we're going to do it again," Rodney whispered back.

"Yup, in twenty minutes."

Rodney closed his eyes. Twenty minutes, just enough time for a power nap. Then more sex. He opened his eyes again. "Can we get cherry-flavored condoms? Or maybe chocolate? Or coffee?"


"Why not? They'd be perfect for first thing in the morning."

"They wouldn't actually have caffeine, you know."

John had a point. "Fine, we'll stick to fruit flavors," Rodney said.

"I think we can get bubble gum."

"I don't think it's a good idea to combine a taste that makes you want to chew with blowjobs."

"Good point," John said.

"Mmmm," Rodney answered absently, hoping that would end the conversation. He had a power nap to take and only twenty minutes. Besides, they were going to have lots of time to discuss condom flavors.

Lots of time.