All Is Said

A kiss, and all is said. -- Victor Hugo

"Why did you take me to the shrine?" Rodney asked, swinging his feet back and forth over the water. The pier was one of his favorite places in Atlantis, and he was ridiculously glad he was still around to enjoy it.

"It was Jeannie's decision," John said, watching his own feet swing.

"I know, but if you hadn't been for it, it wouldn't have happened." John could have refused to take them, claimed the military risk was too great. If John hadn't wanted the trip to happen, it wouldn't have.

John shrugged and took a drink of his beer.

Rodney knew that was as much of an answer as he was going to get. "What were you going to say to me?"

"Don't know. I hadn't thought about it."

Rodney had expected John to evade the question or just ignore it. That's what John usually did when something emotional came up. Normally, Rodney didn't mind. He wasn't that keen on talking about feelings himself, but watching yourself slip away piece by piece had a way of prioritizing things. This time he wanted more. More of what, he wasn't sure. Honesty, maybe, or truth. Something. "You had been watching me slowly die for days and you hadn't thought about what you wanted to say to me." It was part statement, part question, part accusation.

"I wasn't going to say anything," John said, but he didn't sound annoyed, not like he usually did when someone made him talk about something he'd prefer not to discuss. Instead, he sounded oddly serious. "I was--" John directly at Rodney. "I was going to kiss you."

Rodney stared at him. Kiss? John had been going to kiss him?

John looked back at the water.

"Like a friend kisses a friend?" Rodney asked, not that he knew what that was, exactly.

"Something like that."

John was moving away again, retreating back into himself. Rodney could hear it in his voice. He didn't want John to go. He wanted to keep the feeling of closeness they'd had before Rodney had decided to ask about things clearly best left alone. "You could still do it."

"What?"

"The kiss. You could still kiss me."

John lifted his gaze to Rodney's and whatever words Rodney had been about to say deserted him. John was a master at hiding his feelings, not perfect, but damn good. Right now, he wasn't hiding anything and the vulnerability in his eyes shook Rodney in a way nothing had in a long time.

John inched a little closer. Then stopped, almost as if he'd realized what he was about to do.

"Please," Rodney said, not sure why, knowing only that he didn't want John to pull away.

John's lips touched his. Soft and a little chapped they were gone before Rodney had a chance to figure out how he felt about them.

"Good enough?" John asked as he drew back.

Resisting the urge to lift his fingers to his lips, Rodney nodded.

"Great. You want another one?" John asked, holding up the last two beers from the six pack, linked together by plastic rings.

"Sure," Rodney said, and John handed him a beer.

Rodney popped the top and took a drink, looking out at the water. John was quiet beside him. John had wanted to kiss him. John had kissed him. A hundred questions should have been swirling through his head, but Rodney found himself oddly calm. "John."

John had been staring out at the water, too, beer can resting between his legs. Turning toward Rodney, he said, "Yeah?"

"Can we do that again, only a little longer?"

"Okay," John said, his voice oddly husky. Then he leaned in again. His lips were still chapped, but this time they stayed long enough for Rodney decide he liked the feel of them.

But John still drew back before Rodney was ready. "Better?" John asked.

Rodney nodded.

"Good," John said, turning back toward the water.

Rodney studied John's profile, knowing John knew he was looking. John had a handsome face, but somewhere along the way Rodney had stopped noticing. Everyone else in Atlantis looked like at John like he was a big damn hero, and he was, but he was also John. Rodney had never had anyone in his life like John. John was unique. And the way Rodney felt about him was unique, too.

"You can kiss me again, if you want."

"Really?" John asked. He was smiling a little.

"Yeah."

"Cool," John said and leaned toward him.

It was cool, Rodney thought as their lips met. It was very cool. Later, they'd do more, Rodney could feel it in his bones. But for now, John's kiss was more than enough.