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5 Times John Sheppard Said "I Love You"


Title: 5 Times John Sheppard Said "I Love You"

Author: chelle

Author's email:

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Fandom: Atlantis

Archive: Ask first

Pairing: John/Rodney

Rating: PG


John remembers the light filtering through the window behind her, the way it made her hair glow. He remembers wanting hair like hers, light and golden, instead of dark and forbidding like his father's.

He remembers how gentle her fingers were when she rubbed dabbed his scrapes with the first aid cream.

He remembers wrapping his arms around her neck and proclaiming, "I love you, Mommy."

He remembers the slight catch in her voice when she gathered him in her arms and said, "I love you, too, John."


Sex, John thinks, is one of the few things in life that lives up to its billing. Another body against his, warm skin beneath his hands, a cock sliding along his own.

"I love you," John gasps, just before he comes, and in that moment he means it.


"I love you," Nancy whispers, her voice warm and soft in John's ear.

He's pretty sure she's speaking softly so he can pretend not to have heard, pretend to have already drifted into post-coital sleep.

Nancy is beautiful and smart. She knows how to play the game-- the Washington game, the military game, all the games John's father is so good at and John has never quite mastered.

When John's with her, he feels like maybe he can learn to play, too. Looks and money have kept John from being an outsider, but he's never really been an insider either. He tells himself it doesn't matter.

"I love you, too," he whispers back.


"Listen, Teyla," John says.

Teyla turns toward him, a cloth thrown over her shoulder, a crying baby resting against it.

"I, you know."

"I know," she says, and thrusts the baby into his arms.

"So," John says, "when is Kanaan getting out of the infirmary?"


Rodney is almost to the door. Once Rodney's through it things will never be the same.

If John stops him, things will never be the same.

"I love you."

Rodney stops, then turns toward him. "What did you say?"

"You heard me."

"You think I shouldn't date Jennifer because you love me," Rodney says, and somehow it sounds all wrong, like John is inventing excuses.

"Yes," John answers, firm, ignoring the skepticism in Rodney's voice.

"Like a friend?" Rodney asks, sounding a little less like he wants to either pummel John or drag him off to the new therapist.



"No," John says again. "Not like a friend."

"How then?" Rodney asks. His arms are crossed and his feet are planted hip width apart, making him look immovable.

John understands how Rodney's staff must feel when Rodney is convinced their idea is the most ridiculous thing since the founding of the Flat Earth Society, but is willing to let them argue the point anyway, purely for the entertainment value. Swallowing, John pulls in a breath and says, "Like I want to spend the rest of my life next to you."

"Really?" Rodney asks, his shoulders slumping slightly as some of the tension leaves his stance.

"Yeah." John feels the corner of one side of his mouth curling up just a bit.

"Next to me?"

John nods. "Yes, Rodney, next to you."

"All the time?"

"Not all the time, but a lot of it."

"At night?" Rodney asks, lowering his arms.

"Definitely at night," John says, taking a step closer.

"In the morning?"

Nodding, John takes another step. "Yup."

"What about the rest of the day?" Rodney asks, his tone softening into something John's never heard before.

With a last step, John locks his gaze on Rodney's. He can hear the blood rushing in his ears, feel his hear pounding. "Then, too."

"So pretty much all the time, then?" Rodney says, his mouth quirking into a small, tentative smile.

John nods. "Pretty much."

"I think... I think I'd be good with that," Rodney says.

Breath catching, John says,"Yeah?"

Rodney nods, just once, then he tilts his head to the side and stretches just enough to press his lips to John's.

The kiss doesn't last more than a heartbeat, but that's okay because John's pretty sure he's going to remember it for the rest of his life.